Blind Spots
Blind spots is a word that defines itself. We all have blind spots, but it is hard for us to see our own. However, we can usually identify a blind spot in a friend or a family member.
The truth is we are often only able to see ourselves outwardly, but others have a perspective of us inwardly and outwardly and see things we couldn’t possibly see. For example, friends can identify areas, which may need improvement. For example, a friend may inform us that we really aren’t that nice or we are easily angered. Ouch! 🤕 While, the news may be shared in love it can sting a little.
Are you receptive to feedback about a blind spot?
Do you receive it in love or are you easily offended? - which is a completely different blog, I’ll save for a later date. 🤔 Lol.
Blind spots can also be revealed to us if we have a relationship with our Heavenly Father, God. Listen, when God tells me about myself, I realize it is only for my good. Sometimes it can be hard to accept, but I’ve learned in my weaknesses he is always strong. And because his love is perfect for us, it alleviates any fears or anxiety I may experience. I use the information he shares as an opportunity to invite him to help.
“Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT
Untitled
Have you ever had a moment where you are trying to write and nothing seems to be exactly what you wanted to say to your audience? That’s this blog here. 😩
I’ve deleted and rewritten it at least 4 times within the last hr and nothing seems to stick, so I’m calling this blog, “Untitled”because it’s coming straight from my heart. My prayer is that it helps someone.
Sigh….. blog attempt #5. 5 the number of grace. The more I read the Bible and chat with God I realize I will always be in a position where I’m becoming. I never want to get to a place where I feel like I arrived with God and there’s nothing more for me to learn about him or myself.
I’ve shared often that I grew up in church my entire life and I’ve heard some great sermons. However, some of the most important things I’ve learned are to read and study the Bible for yourself, have a relationship with God, life is better lived within a trusted community and remain in a student posture.
We are all human and none of us have this thing called life completely figured out. Everyone is capable of making mistakes but God gives us grace freely for ourselves and for us to give to others. As I’m writing this I’m thinking - man I have so much work to do to get better at giving others as much grace as I would want them to give me. But the great thing is… I’m encouraged because I know there’s grace for me to do better! ❤️
Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over [with no space left for more]. For with the standard of measurement you use [when you do good to others], it will be measured to you in return.” Luke 6:38 Amplified
Soundtrack
Y’all don’t have a clue how many book ideas I have running through my brain at any given time. Currently, I’m working on two book ideas with another three ideas in my head for future books.
I’m not sure if y’all deal with this, but I have to work on this doubting “soundtrack” playing in my head which tries to distract me.
What is a soundtrack? I’m glad you asked. The soundtrack for me is the repeated doubtful words which play in my head like a scratched soundtrack record.
My soundtrack tries to tell me: This book isn’t going to be good enough, no one will purchase it and so much more. All lies!
The interesting thing is if allowed the soundtrack will cause you to doubt things which have never happened. 🤯
How crazy is that? I’m doubting things that have never taken place. When I look at the facts - I’m grateful that I’ve never had a book sell zero copies, but even if I did it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Life would go on.
I’ve learned I have to silence the soundtrack.
How do I silence the soundtrack? I silence the soundtrack with the word of God. Every time this soundtrack tells me I can’t, I find a scripture that says I can. If it tells me, I won’t, I remind myself I’m more than a conqueror.
My Pastor often says, the enemy can’t stop your destiny; however, he can cause you to doubt yourself with the soundtrack playing in your head.
What soundtrack should you replace?
This blog was inspired by, the book entitled, “Soundtracks”, by Jon Acuff.
“Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.”1 John 4:4 KJV
Rotten Fruit
Everything is not as it seems. Some things may appear fruitful and healthy on the outside, but upon inspection or examining it at the core, it isn’t how they initially seemed.
Y’all I love summer fruit. Watermelon, peaches, plums, cherries and so much more. Last week, I ordered some peaches for my weekly grocery pick-up. I was so excited to bite into this delicious fruit or so I thought.
I picked up the fruit and immediately washed it off. After this, I noticed the top of the fruit looked different than normal. It was very dark, almost black and the outside of it was much softer than normal - like squishy. I broke it open and discovered the fruit was rotten. What initially appeared as something with nutritious value wasn’t good for me and could have made me sick.
The moral of the story, everything isn’t as it seems. Examine things past face value. Everything which seems good to you, may not be!
Remember: “People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
Scripture: “But the LORD said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The LORD doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
P.S. I included photos of the fruit. 
Saturated
If I sit and think I can come up with an excuse as to why I shouldn’t move forward with anything. For example, there are about 1.2 million bloggers in Dallas and another 200,048 self-published authors. Okay, I made both of those numbers up to give context for this blog, but you get the point. 🙃😂 I will say the number is pretty high for bloggers and authors in Dallas and tremendously even higher if I look at the state of Texas.
The majority of us know someone who has started a blog and may even know an author. If I looked at the number of bloggers or self-published authors it could be intimidating if I allowed. I could easily give a lame excuse that the market is saturated and not share my own stories via a book or a blog. But…saturated or not in the words of the great Toni Morrison “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”
A saturated market can be both an excuse and a fact at the same time. Due to this, I could hope for others to write about my experiences, or I could do it myself. Of course, y’all know me, I will do it myself. No one else has my voice or my distinctive personality which God gave me.
My friends often tease me, all in good fun, and say “Wren Logic” when I share a story. Lol. Even my logical way of thinking is unique to me. It’s the way God made me and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
All of that to say, you can either make a “lame excuse” or do what you have been called to do.
Traveling Shoes
Y’all my vacation to Europe, particularly Spain and Portugal was awesome. Cheers to two weeks off from work - like a minimum of two weeks off are needed going forward. Of course, while traveling there are so many observations made. It’s typical to compare your known home country to other places. Also, side note: Just in case y’all wanted to know I loved Portugal more than Madrid. Here are some of my top 10 things I loved:
- The architecture and history. The buildings were colorful and massive.
- Pasteis de natas - delicious dessert in Portugal.
- Castles 😍 - need I say more?
- The fresh food and veggies, even the McDonald’s was amazing.
- The weather in Portugal. 70-75 degrees.
- Walking around and feeling safe.
- Meeting amazing people and experiencing their culture.
- Cooking classes - so many awesome recipes.
- The easiness of travel to other countries. Spain was less than a 2 hr flight.
- Most importantly, the travel crew. We laughed so much and had so many inside jokes.
The trip was a 10 out of 10. Cheers to more vacations!
Obrigada. Ciao!
My Joy List
Because it is Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I’ll share things that bring me joy! I know oftentimes similar lists are shared and entitled self-care activities, but I was reading a book last week and it referenced activities they enjoyed as a joy list. The idea of calling it a joy list, made me smile, so here are my top 15 joy list items.
- Spending quiet time with God.
- Reading a book in one day.
- A hot bubble bath with candles and relaxing music.
- Sitting outside on the patio (with nice weather), enjoying a nice drink to relax.
- Going to the pool and or beach.
- Reading greeting cards from friends and family.
- Receiving a note or email about how my book and or blog encouraged someone.
- Publishing a book.
- Turning on my out of the office because I have a trip booked.
- Watching a comedy show.
- Game night with friends and family.
- Lying in bed binging a good series on Netflix.
- Teaching others and seeing them have their aha moment.
- Take nap midday!
- Enjoying my favorite snack!
While I could go on and on about some of the things that bring me joy, I want you to think about something on your joy list. In addition to thinking about it, try to practice it tonight or even this week!
What brings you joy?
“Strength and honour are her clothing; And she shall rejoice in time to come.”Proverbs 31:25 KJV
Mindfulness
The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I know there’s a buzzword called mindfulness, but I wanted to share some of my self-work.
I heard this quote recently and I was compelled to share it.
“We don’t fail, we reach our capacity!”Antoinette’s Corner
One thing I’ve tried to be mindful of is my feelings, my emotions, and how I process things. The quote posted above spoke volumes to me because of society’s preconditioned idea of “failure.” I’m working on becoming more mindful of my feelings, emotions, the things I tell myself, and even how I decide to process information.
While I may have initially labeled a task that didn’t meet my expected outcome as a possible failure, I can now say I reached my capacity for that task. I may have more capacity to problem solve, try it again tomorrow or even ask someone else for assistance, but one thing I’m not going to say is I failed.
Also, on my mindfulness journey, I’m conscious of my emotions and try not to let them control me because I know they fluctuate like this Texas weather. For example, before I react because something may have been an initial trigger I’ll have a conversation with a trusted friend or chat with the person. Being mindful for me means just because an action may invoke an initial emotion, it doesn’t mean that emotion is valid. I have to weigh my emotion against what I know about the person, is it a repeated behavior or maybe it is something that needs greater clarification. I’ve learned you can chat all day, but if you don’t have understanding - the words are meaningless.
Listen y’all, we are products of the things we say to ourselves, what we consume, and the people we hang around. What you verbalize you become. What you believe about yourself you become. Being mindful of these things may be the mental health break you need.
Speak Up
I can recall a couple of situations in which I was silent after someone said something offensive- whether they were a friend, family member, or a stranger. Initially, I was silent in some situations because I didn’t know what to say or I didn’t want to blow things out of proportion. I’ve learned silence isn’t always golden and sometimes you have to Speak Up for yourself. Now, this post isn’t condoning rude, combative, or disrespectful behavior; however, sometimes a curious question or a graceful statement can be a solution to reset a boundary or bring up a concern.
Storytime:
I found a nail tech who I love and she’s walking distance from me. Y’all she has nail styles pre-picked out for me. #winwin However, last week I went to get my nails done and learned my nail tech is traveling and unavailable for the next three months. 🙃 While, I’m an avid traveler myself - I’m excited for her, but who’s going to do my nails? With outgrown nails I allowed another tech to do my nails. Initially, I thought they looked fine, but once I went home I realized I didn’t like them. I’ve been getting my nails done for over 10 years, but this is the first time I decided to go back and ask them to change my nails because I was dissatisfied. Once she made the changes, my nails looked so much better.
I know this may be a simple example to some, but that’s exactly the point. Anything you practice gets easier over time. If you can’t tell your nail tech, “Can you fix my nails?” - how can you have a tough conversation about anything else?
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Prov. 15:1
Help
As someone who has lofty goals and ambitions, I’ve come to realize the importance of asking for help. I know so many of us including myself hate asking for help, but let me assure you it’s normal and the way God designed us. He wants us to live our lives within a healthy community of people who can do life with us. So of course like most of my blogs, I have an example for you of when I had to ask for help.
Storytime: On Easter Sunday, I had on a beautiful dress; however this dress had a long zipper down the back. I practiced the night before zipping the dress up successfully by myself. Now Easter morning comes and I’m attempting to zip my dress by myself and I can’t finish it. I even looked up YouTube and TikTok hacks and it wasn’t working. So, at the point I’m frustrated and on top of this, I’m running the risk of being super late for church with a half-zipped dress. I decided to grab my purse, keys and run to my car with my half-zipped dress and figure it out in the church parking lot. While this was not ideal and I don’t recommend this for anyone else - as soon as I pulled up to the church I found a single woman, ran to her car, and asked her to help me zip my dress, which she kindly obliged in assisting me.
I know this may seem like a small ask, but if you can’t ask for help for small things - it will be harder to do when the task is larger. Think of all the ways you could benefit from something someone else knows which could be beneficial to you. It’s nothing wrong with stating, “Hi I need help with… can you assist?
It All Started with A…
I recently boarded a Southwest flight and l noticed their napkin. The napkin stated," Southwest Airlines was born on a napkin in 1971.”
While, l was on my flight I sat and thought about all the ideas of others scribbled on a napkin or in a notebook and because of fear and doubt the idea remains just that - faded words on a page. While this blog may be short,my prayer for you today is for God to help you develop a plan and for you to implement the idea, thought, or dream. Shed some light on that scribbled vision that’s on a sheet of paper tucked safely away.
For me, blogging all started with a 60 - day challenge. What’s your story?
“A dream is only a dream until you decide to make it real.” - Harry Styles
“Then the Lord said to me, “Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk 2:2-3 NLT
Graceful Words
First off, I surpassed writing 200 blogs! 🙌🏽This is currently blog # 202. Thanks for being a part of my blogging journey! I appreciate every one of you. ❤️
I have a question for you, have you ever had a tough conversation with anyone? At some point, someone you have a relationship with will say something to offend you, whether it is intentional or not. I can admit I’ve been offended quite a few times through various relationships. I’m learning the key is not to allow the offense to become a fence in any relationship. It’s imperative to have tough conversations with others in professional and personal relationships.
I’ve had my fair share of tough conversations in which sometimes I handled them fairly well and other times they weren’t so great. I’ve realized my biggest issue with having tough conversations is sometimes I ramble. I start with good intentions and points and then, I add too much unnecessary context.
My mentor recently shared that the key in any conversation is conciseness. His quote was, “Say as much as is needed to get your point across, but no more than you have to say.” I always feel like when I learn something new there is a testing experience. 😩
I will have to say, this time I wrote down what I had to say before the conversation. I ensured I acknowledged my feelings and ended my thoughts concisely with what I would like the result to be going forward. I’m thankful to report the conversation went well. While I’m sure I will have more conversations with others, I’m glad I now have a working blueprint of how I can be concise and handle the conversation gracefully.
How do you handle tough conversations?
“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians 4:6 NLT
What do you say?
Sometimes I sit down and wonder did God call me to do this or that?
Am I able to accomplish it?
Can I do it?
Do y’all deal with self-doubt too or is it just me?
I heard this recently in a sermon and it made sense.
Everything begins with a thought. You can choose to entertain that thought or replace it with the truth of God.
For example, I'm sitting in a conference room moving a vase and didn't want to drop it so l pushed it down the table. As I pushed it down the table I said," I am clumsy and then l knocked over a glass of water." While it felt like that statement validated what happened, l reminded me there is power in my words. So, at that moment l immediately stated I spilled the water, but I’m not clumsy.
I know this may sound small, but small habits are changed when you recognize them and take steps to change them.
Now I practice evaluating my thoughts and replacing them with the words of God. Even if I have to repeat the same scripture over and over until I believe it and it becomes a part of my psyche.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21
Fix Your Thinking
This weekend I went to hang out with some friends at a restaurant. So, like some of you I love to plan what I am going to wear in advance in hopes it will allow me to get dressed faster. However, I quickly learned you can have a plan, but it may change real fast. Okay back to the story. lol. As I changed clothes on Friday night and put on my dress because I absolutely love dresses - my zipper broke on a brand-new dress. I attempted to try on my back up dress, but I didn't like it.
After the dress mishap, I took down my hair and realized my curling rods didn't curl any of my hair. In fact, my hair looked a hot mess. At this point, I am frustrated, and I had a whole melt down. My initial fixed though mindset was to cancel everything! But, after quickly pulling myself together I snapped out of my fixed mindset and thought of how can I apply a growth mindset to this situation. What can I do to enjoy the evening and how can I improvise with my hair? Well, if you swipe over, I share a picture of my outfit and my hair. I'm thankful I was quickly able to change my thinking and focus on a solution vs. the problem.
QOTD: How can you apply a growth mindset to a challenge you faced today or even over the weekend?
My favorite quote: It always seems impossible, until it is done. - Nelson Mandela
We may make our plans, but God has the last word. Proverbs 16:1
Spoiled Grapes
A week ago, I was preparing to wash off some grapes I had purchased and I realized one of the grapes was rotted. I quickly checked the grapes surrounding this one particular grape and realized other grapes were no longer edible due to their proximity to the rotten grape, so I threw them away.
Listen Proximity matters!
Especially, when it comes to your community of friends. While we don’t get to pick the family we are born into, we get to pick if we want to befriend someone. Be sure you have friends in your community who are like-minded.
The scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron.” (Proverbs 27:17) Use wisdom to ensure, there are no spoiled grapes in your community.
Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” I Corinthians 15:33
Living within Boundaries
What if living within boundaries was freedom? This was a statement I heard in a message last year. I thought about this based on my own life and I agree.
One of my current goals is to have financial freedom; however, to obtain this it required me to live within a budget, set boundaries, and follow them.
While the idea of setting boundaries in life sounds easy to write it out - actually following and or implementing the boundaries is a completely different thing. Once, l set financial boundaries I was able to pay off all of my debt besides Joe Biden's loans - which led to more financial freedom. 😩😂😂 Was it easy? Not at all- especially because I love to travel, but it was worth the sacrifice.
I've learned that setting boundaries can truly lead to freedom for you in several areas of your life.
Vulnerability
There's a popular saying that says, “Check on your strong friends.” My truth: I’m someone who has struggled with vulnerability. It is still tough for me and I’m sure others admit we need help or that they we are struggling. We all have so many unique stories, traumas, and experiences that may impact how we interact with others.
How do you assist someone who doesn't know how to ask or receive help?
Well, great question.
While I can't answer for everyone I can say for me I’m grateful that I have friends who are patient and supportive and provided a genuine listening ear when I was ready to share.
One of my favorite quotes from George Washington Carver says, “Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also – if you love them enough.”
It is so true that if you love someone they with soon open up to you and share their story that may be near and dear to their heart. Love never fails.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8
Inventing You
I’ve recently watched Inventing Anna and the Tinder Swindler. If you watched them, share your thoughts below in the comments and if you haven’t watched them, check them out on Netflix. (Sidenote: Has anyone noticed Netflix keep increasing their bill - like Geesh everything is increasing in price.) 😩🙃
Okay, I was distracted, but back to my story. 😂
In case you haven’t seen them here a Quick Summary of Both Shows: The series are based on true stories, in which both of the portrayed individuals change their names and utilize other people and resources in unorthodox ways to try and gain wealth and status.
First I want to say, I don’t agree with the actions from both shows and neither do I encourage or recommend anyone to recreate what they did to others. However, because I believe I can learn something from everything, it was interesting to see their confidence. For starters both individuals convinced themselves and others they were someone wealthy with a stellar family pedigree. In addition to them convincing themselves and others, they also acted upon and implemented strategies to get the resources they wanted to live the life they wanted and so much more.
After watching all of the episodes, I sat and thought about how beneficial it would be if we believed in ourselves and implemented the goals and strategies we want to accomplish our dream job or to launch our own company. With God’s help and our action - we could be unstoppable!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13
I Love Us 🖤
As we wrap up this month with blogs focusing on all things American Black Culture, I want you to take a moment and consider your favorite enjoyable thing about American black culture. Whether it is the versatility of our hairstyles and hair textures, our music, the food, our style of clothing, or even our language between each other. Like there are some things we just know and it doesn’t have to be verbalized. Like your mom giving you a side-eye, you and your friend making that connecting glance, and y’all both spot the same thing or the trash-talking during a game of spades or dominoes. It’s all a part of what makes us, who we are.
As Black History Month is coming to a close, we still have every day to celebrate who we are. No day or month on the calendar will change my gratefulness for being a proud black woman.
“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms 139:14 NLT
Black Culture is: Our Music
Music is powerful. Music moves your heart, mind, and soul and even changes your mood. Music is a way to connect with others and is such a vibe. To be honest, I have my best cleaning days when I turn on some music and find a good playlist.
In American Black Culture music is a staple at every event from family reunions to birthdays. Family reunions are filled with line dances because it isn’t a family reunion until you do the electric slide. And let’s not forget about birthdays -y’all know we are going to sing the Stevie Wonder redemption of the song.
Even when you are singing at church, the runs on a solo hit a little differently and run a little longer. We will remix a song and combine them all into one and before you know it you have a 3 min song that turned into a 15-minute song. (But who’s counting?!!!) lol - me. 😂
The fact that we have our Black National Anthem, 🎶Lift Every Voice and Sing. 🎶
I mean - what more can I say!
From hip hop, rap, r&b, the quiet storm, blues, reggae, gospel, etc. - there’s music for everyone.
A good drum beat even without music - you can feel it in your soul.
Whether I’m saying, “It’s 7 o clock on the dot” or, “ You make me happy, this you can bet… someone will always jump in and finish the song.
I’ll leave you with this fun fact about my favorite artist and see if you can guess the artist.
“How you gon' win when you ain't right within”.
Our music is a part of American Black History.