Chile, I Got It!
Over the past 18 years, a constant learned behavior was to show up for myself and figure things out. #chileigotit This was a continuous phrase I frequently said myself and heard from others.
#storytime For me, this all started in high school when I quickly had to find a way home from school after working nights in addition to taking care of any of my expenses from school.
Often I was hailed by others as responsible and resourceful. Y’all, I knew all the buses in the area and if the buses weren’t running I requested HR to fix my schedule or would have a couple of trusted friends assist. I’m grateful I figured things out; however, on the flip side it ignited a strong independence in me, which I still struggle to ask for help and even when offered I seldom accept it. 😩
Fast forward to recently my beloved, Mona Lisa, my car is in the shop being repaired, which is fine because I work remote. My sister offered to allow me to borrow her car and a friend even insisted on picking me up for church, but I declined. 😩
While, I could have accepted help I opted to enjoy a peaceful long weekend at home working on my book. However, I did have a deep convo with a friend as they asked probing questions regarding my reluctance to receive help. Of course after this discussion, I’ll have to follow up and discuss this subject with my therapist to see what I want my end goal to be, but in the meantime I’ll take baby steps to receiving help from others.
It would be easy for me to close this blog and suggest for y’all to accept help from others, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll say, we are all on our own healing journey from various things. The beautiful thing is we all arrive at a point of awareness on our own time and guess what - that’s our business!
My pray for you is that when you are ready, you will have trusted friends there to walk with you.
Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14 KJV
Cauliflower
Yes, you read the title right - “Cauliflower”. If you would have asked me 10 years ago what vegetable I thought would have the biggest impact on my lifestyle change - I would have never guessed cauliflower.
Cauliflower is like the ugly duckling of vegetables that no one wanted unless it was in a vegetable melody with carrots, broccoli, and cheese (y’all know what package I’m talking about) Lol. Seriously, no one was purchasing cauliflowers by themselves to eat or use for anything else.
Cauliflower is the come-back kid! No one was checking for it in high school or college, but baby when it turned 25 cauliflower was in the gym and morphed into a beautiful cocoon! 😂.
But I digress!
Now we have learned there are so many things you can do with cauliflower and it’s low in carbs. You can use cauliflower as rice, mashed potatoes, pizza crust, pasta in Mac and cheese, tortillas, vegetarian steak, vegetarian Buffalo chicken and so much more!
I’m sure you are thinking, I eat cauliflower, but why are you writing about it?
I’m glad you asked. 😂 I wanted to get back to the core of why I started this blog. I can find beauty and meaning in everything! I was making a cauliflower breakfast burrito this morning and thought - wow cauliflower blossomed and wanted to share my perspective.
And I thought everyone can have a beautiful story and blossom just like cauliflower, despite who may have counted you out. It’s never too late to change the trajectory of your life!
Be like cauliflower and blossom!
Weekends
Listen, I’m so proud of myself. I don’t know if you ever tried to lose weight, but for me, this is the story of my life. Lol.
Now I’m an avid meal prepper, I’ve been back in the gym for a while and even going 5-6 days every week faithfully in the morning BUT ummmm… Y’all know there’s always a but! Lol.
But…the weekend! 😬
There are brunches, birthdays, baby showers, weddings, parties, reunions, lunches, traveling, meetups, etc…
It’s sad to say I could have such great momentum and progress Monday - Friday and lose it all within a weekend. #sadnews
However, this weekend I was victorious! I not only maintained my progress but the scale decreased! I’m so proud of myself - almost proud enough to order a salad the next time I go out to eat as my entree.
Okay, jk I’m not there yet, but maybe one day!
In the meantime, I’ll continue to celebrate my small wins and keep my healthy habits.
Small progress leads to success!
“Who dares despise the day of small things, since the seven eyes of the Lord that range throughout the earth will rejoice when they see the chosen capstone in the hand of Zerubbabel?” Zechariah 4:10 NIV
Speak Up
I can recall a couple of situations in which I was silent after someone said something offensive- whether they were a friend, family member, or a stranger. Initially, I was silent in some situations because I didn’t know what to say or I didn’t want to blow things out of proportion. I’ve learned silence isn’t always golden and sometimes you have to Speak Up for yourself. Now, this post isn’t condoning rude, combative, or disrespectful behavior; however, sometimes a curious question or a graceful statement can be a solution to reset a boundary or bring up a concern.
Storytime:
I found a nail tech who I love and she’s walking distance from me. Y’all she has nail styles pre-picked out for me. #winwin However, last week I went to get my nails done and learned my nail tech is traveling and unavailable for the next three months. 🙃 While, I’m an avid traveler myself - I’m excited for her, but who’s going to do my nails? With outgrown nails I allowed another tech to do my nails. Initially, I thought they looked fine, but once I went home I realized I didn’t like them. I’ve been getting my nails done for over 10 years, but this is the first time I decided to go back and ask them to change my nails because I was dissatisfied. Once she made the changes, my nails looked so much better.
I know this may be a simple example to some, but that’s exactly the point. Anything you practice gets easier over time. If you can’t tell your nail tech, “Can you fix my nails?” - how can you have a tough conversation about anything else?
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. Prov. 15:1
Living within Boundaries
What if living within boundaries was freedom? This was a statement I heard in a message last year. I thought about this based on my own life and I agree.
One of my current goals is to have financial freedom; however, to obtain this it required me to live within a budget, set boundaries, and follow them.
While the idea of setting boundaries in life sounds easy to write it out - actually following and or implementing the boundaries is a completely different thing. Once, l set financial boundaries I was able to pay off all of my debt besides Joe Biden's loans - which led to more financial freedom. 😩😂😂 Was it easy? Not at all- especially because I love to travel, but it was worth the sacrifice.
I've learned that setting boundaries can truly lead to freedom for you in several areas of your life.
Vulnerability
There's a popular saying that says, “Check on your strong friends.” My truth: I’m someone who has struggled with vulnerability. It is still tough for me and I’m sure others admit we need help or that they we are struggling. We all have so many unique stories, traumas, and experiences that may impact how we interact with others.
How do you assist someone who doesn't know how to ask or receive help?
Well, great question.
While I can't answer for everyone I can say for me I’m grateful that I have friends who are patient and supportive and provided a genuine listening ear when I was ready to share.
One of my favorite quotes from George Washington Carver says, “Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also – if you love them enough.”
It is so true that if you love someone they with soon open up to you and share their story that may be near and dear to their heart. Love never fails.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8
Don’t Revert Back
As y’all can see in my picture, I had my hair silk pressed over the weekend. I woke up Sunday morning and knew I signed up to serve at church (outdoors). I decided to check the weather as a part of my normal routine and saw the humidity was at 68%. For all my sistahs y’all understand high humidity is not recommended for silk pressed hair.
Well, I could have canceled serving at church to save my press, but if you are reading this blog you know what I did. I went to church and watched my hair revert to its natural state. 😂
I’m sharing this because - statistics show within a month 64% of people abandon their new goals and revert to their comfort zone. Guess what - we aren’t going to be included in this statistic. We are accomplishing all of our goals this year, so don’t revert like my hair. 😩 Continue to move forward because slow progress is progress.
P.S. If you are looking for a picture of the current state of my hair, it’s not included. 😂
“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” Ecclesiastes 9:11 KJV
Squid Game Lessons #1
I’m so grateful for the way God wired me. I literally can receive inspiration for a blog from anything. I was watching Squid Games on Netflix, episode 5. If you are watching the show, don’t read this post yet. 😂
In this episode, they are playing tug-a-war and one team is favored to win because they have 3 women on their team and an elderly man compared to the other team with all men. The elderly man assured them he had never lost a game of tug-a-war despite bigger opponents because it is all in the positioning of each player and team. The older gentleman gave them instructions on how to position themselves and other strategies to lean back for the first 30 seconds to tire out their opponent.
In addition to this, another guy on their team stepped up as a leader and suggested for them to take 3 steps forward which the team was nervous to do; however, those 3 steps helped them become victorious over their opponent.
While I’m not condoning the show, I’ve learned to find random life lessons in daily things in life. This episode showed me the importance of listening to wisdom from others, the power of teamwork, and the power of influence from a leader. If one person would not have listened or been on one accord with the team it could have cost them not only the game but their life.
Sometimes we aren’t the smartest person in the room, it’s okay to heed wisdom from others.
Share some wisdom you learned from someone else.
“Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.” Proverbs 11:14 NLT
Ordered Steps
I know people say, what you don’t know can’t hurt, but that’s a lie. I was working on a project at work and I didn’t know I should get permission before I implemented something - guess what that missed step could have hurt me if I wouldn’t have asked someone. ?
I think about even when I’m cooking, it is probably better for me to follow the steps of the recipe in order vs. skipping steps. If I jump to putting my cake in the oven before mixing the ingredients, something with that cake isn’t going to be right. Lol.
The whole idea of having steps ordered makes me grateful for how intentional my Heavenly Father is. He ordered our steps before we wore born.
How cool is that?!!!
I know we think we know what’s best for us often, but we should follow his ordered steps. It will save us a lot of time and energy.
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: And he delighteth in his way.”
Psalm 37:23 KJV
All I Need is Understanding
I believe it was the girls' group, Xscape that said, “What I need from you is understanding. How can we communicate if you don't hear what I say?”
I’ve often said any type of a great relationship takes communication; however, they also take comprehension and understanding.
Storytime: I was texting someone a couple of weeks ago and from my text message I felt like they should have grasped what I was saying. I mean have y’all ever been there? Like you said what you said and in your head, it made complete sense, but once you communicated with the other person they heard or read something completely different? Maybe it is just me. ?
I thought I communicated very effectively in my personal and professional life. I’m sure I even listed “effective communication” on a past resume or two as a skillset. ??
However, sometimes what you are saying and what someone hears or interprets are two completely different things. So, it is important to clarify, read messages in context and ask additional questions if you are unsure because assuming something will have you looking cray-cray, especially when you are wrong.
While this situation stemmed from an experience in my personal life, I’ve seen where this has often happened in other situations as well, especially when people read the Bible. They will read one thing out of context and assume without asking God to help them understand what they are reading. The Bible even tells us don’t lean to our understanding and to acknowledge God.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB2020
Band-Aids
Story-time: I was listening to a story a couple of weeks ago about someone who has a garden and there was one patch of an area in which they didn’t plant anything for their dogs to have an area to take care of their business.
The person’s goal was to stop grass from growing in this area.
To temporarily fix this situation they poured mulch over the grass, which worked temporarily until the grass grew through the mulch. So they added more mulch until the grass grew through that also. Eventually, the person became tired of the temporary fixes and grabbed their shovel and dug up all the mulch and the grass- which finally got to the root cause of their issue. They were finally able to stop the grass from growing.
Often time, we know there’s a root cause for a situation, but we only address a symptom instead of dealing with the issue in its entirety and become frustrated when the same problem arises. Dig deep, do the work, identify and address the root cause vs. slapping a band-aid on the situation.
“For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the LORD; because they called thee an Outcast, saying, This is Zion, whom no man seeketh after.”Jeremiah 30:17 KJV
Grace
So usually, I am on my A-game, getting so many things done, crossing stuff off my list, and being a super overachiever. But to be honest, in this season, I am not feeling the motivation at all. Y’all ever been there or is it just me? ?
I’ll start working out, but then I also eat a cookie. ? I’ll start writing a book, but I’ll start watching a television show. I can’t figure out why I’m not in an overdriven mood right now - it’s like I’m on cruise control, but I want to get stuff done. ?
How do you push forward when you have limited motivation?
I’ve learned the best thing for me to do is to chunk my time, even if it is 15-minute increments. I’ll work for 15 minutes and then do something else to try to bring my mind back to focus. In addition to chunking my time, I’ll also ask God for grace to get certain tasks completed.
I’m not sure when I learned this concept about asking God for grace, but I’m so glad I did. I probably heard this concept in a sermon, so, thank you, Pastor. ? The scripture says, he gives us a measure of grace. So if God gives me grace so freely, I may as well take advantage of it and use it. Grace is free 99 to receive, so ask God for grace to get things done!
Question of the Day: What are some things you do when you feel unmotivated to get things done?
Scripture: “But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.” Ephesians 4:7 NASB2020
And
“Therefore let’s approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need.” Hebrews 4:16 NASB2020
Waiting
Let's be honest most people don’t enjoy waiting for things. I can admit, I don’t enjoy waiting.
Waiting on food to be cooked - just run me my food!
Waiting on the results of a test - did I pass or not?
Waiting on a job decision - Am I hired?
Waiting on a house to be built- Can I move in yet?
Those are just some of the few situations in which we as a society have to wait on something or someone else to determine the next steps.
How do you deal with the waiting? Are you patient? Or impatient?
As you all know, I’m always going, to be honest in my blogs and I can admit I can be impatient sometimes. ? I want things rushed or I want to know the result immediately. Sometimes when I am reading a good book, I’ll skip to the last chapter and then read the rest of the book.
But, I’m learning to be more patient. It’s def a learned skill. The most important thing for me right now is my attitude while I’m patiently waiting. Can I have joy, while I wait? ?
Share below how you deal with being patient.
“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:2-4 KJV
Baby Steps ...
This blog topic came from a conversation I had with my friends this week.
The week of February 15th was a challenging week for many in Texas with the winter storm. I know for myself - I had no motivation to work out as my main concern was trying to check on family and friends, get through a busy work week, and prepare food and have water on stand by just in case my power went out. While dealing with this, I even indulged in a few delicious cookies and to be honest - I don’t regret it. ?
However, last week, I tried to get back on a healthier path with working out, meal prepping, and drinking a gallon of water a day - but sometimes life happens or you may not feel like doing anything and that’s okay. Remember, we are still in the middle of a pandemic! ?
As always give yourself grace because baby steps count.
If you worked out one day - that’s a baby step!
If you increase your water intake - that’s a baby step.
If you prepped a healthier meal option - that’s a baby step!
Baby steps may look different for each of us on our life journey. But remember baby steps add up to progress as long as you continue moving forward!
“The righteous keep moving forward, and those with clean hands become stronger and stronger.” Job 17:9 NLT
You Are Goals
Remember you are someone’s goal.
Sometimes we complain about what we have and we don’t even realize someone is praying for our current lifestyle.
Someone wants to be your weight, to feel like they are on their way to meeting their weight loss goal.
Someone is wishing they made your salary when they haven’t received a raise in years.
Someone wants your car when they are riding the bus or requesting rides from family or friends.
Someone would love to have your apartment because they are trying to save more money to have a space to call their own.
I could go on and on and give so many more examples to compare and contrast, but I digress.
Is it okay to want more or have goals?
Absolutely.
The biggest point I’m trying to make is life is short, be thankful for everything you do have!
Quote to remember:
In the words of my friend:
My worst day is someone’s best Day!
“Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For you are just a vapor that appears for a little while, and then vanishes away.” James 4:14 NASB2020
Growth Conversations
Have you ever had to have a conversation with someone about something that was not pleasant? I’m sure some people even cringe just reading the title of the blog - but just know there’s a growth opportunity in the conversation.
I’m sure we all had those moments when we had to discuss something with a family member, a co-worker, a friend, an associate, a manager, etc...
How do you navigate those conversations?
As someone who’s had to have several of these conversations, while they can be challenging at first, they become easier to handle.
You may not believe this, but I used to be the person that could go 0 to 100, it’s not my proudest moment. ? But, I’m thankful to God for his saving grace! ??
Below, I’ll share the steps I’ve learned on my life journey I take to prepare for conversations - I like to refer to them as growth conversations now! So while I may still get a little nervous before a conversation, I feel so much better after I share my heart with someone.
My Top 5 Growth Conversations Tips
- Check your heart and make sure the conversation is rooted in a place of love.
- Pray about the conversation.
- Discuss or role-play the conversation with a trusted non-biased friend if needed.
- Ask open-ended questions that are not accusatory of the other person.
- If needed bring in a nonbiased third party and also be prepared to listen.
Share any tips you have for growth conversations!
“The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with Loving kindness I have drawn you.”
Jeremiah 31:3 NKJV