Vulnerability
There's a popular saying that says, “Check on your strong friends.” My truth: I’m someone who has struggled with vulnerability. It is still tough for me and I’m sure others admit we need help or that they we are struggling. We all have so many unique stories, traumas, and experiences that may impact how we interact with others.
How do you assist someone who doesn't know how to ask or receive help?
Well, great question.
While I can't answer for everyone I can say for me I’m grateful that I have friends who are patient and supportive and provided a genuine listening ear when I was ready to share.
One of my favorite quotes from George Washington Carver says, “Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also – if you love them enough.”
It is so true that if you love someone they with soon open up to you and share their story that may be near and dear to their heart. Love never fails.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8
New Friends or Nah?
At the beautiful age of 33, I can honestly say I’m blessed to have amazing friends in my life. But, what about when we meet new people, do we embrace them or do we say no new friends? 🤔
My Pastor often says all new relationships begin with an awkward hello. After that introduction, both people get to decide if they want to cultivate the relationship or leave it as is.
Making new friends can be interesting at any age, but especially after 30. 😂Sometimes friendships blossom easily and others may take a little more time. One thing I’ve learned that’s important in any friendship is to know what you need and also know what you are capable of giving to others. Don’t force yourself to be overextended.
Because friendships can have so much influence on your life, it’s okay not to be everyone’s friend. I’m going to repeat that for the people in the back: everyone is not your friend! It’s healthy to be selective in your friendships. I’ll share 3 things that I try to do when I’m considering someone as a new friend.
3 Friendly Habits
- Establish common ground and use this to set up a met up or spark conversation (what hobbies, interests do you all have in common)
- Check on them (A weekly follow-up such as how is your week going, what are you doing this weekend, etc…)
- Be friendly and open-minded to people who aren’t your typical friend. If they extend an invite for coffee and you can go - accept and get to know them. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. At least you tried!
A couple of my friendships started with people I didn’t think would be my friend and years later - we are still friends!
Are you open to making new friends? Why or why not?
“My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend.” Job 16:20-21 NIV
Friends
“Friends
How many of us have them?
Friends
Ones we can depend on
Friends”
Listen - I love my friends - but umm let’s talk about this accountability and vulnerability thing.
So, this year a couple of my friends and I decided to focus on our finances and physical health. Of course - I was all in because I want my bank account booming and y’all know summer is always right around the corner.
Storytime: I loved accountability until I had to send a picture of my scale after a weekend trip in which I ate tortilla chips and pico de Gallo amongst other delicious treats. ?
Like my body loves carbs and stores carbs, so there was some weight gain after that weekend. #cringe
Sharing that initial scale picture was a different level of transparency; however, it was good for me. The most beautiful thing about great friends are that they cover you, give you grace, challenge you and call you higher. We are simply walking through life together and I wouldn’t trade them for the world! I’m grateful to have so many amazing friends in my life!
Cheers to great friends! ?
Question of the Day: What’s One thing you love about your friends?
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. - Proverbs 17:17