Black Culture: Church Experience
I can’t recall a moment when the church wasn’t a part of my life because the church is a huge part of American Black Culture. There are a ton of phrases you use in church - that you just know like, God is good all the time and all… well if you are reading this you probably know the rest.
My American black church experience included Easter speeches ruffled socks, itchy stockings when I got older, Christmas plays, packed houses for Mother’s Day, fresh hair presses the day before church (and I don’t care what my mom said she burnt me with the hot comb it wasn’t the grease). Those were staple holidays known as - CME.
My mom was super active in the church so we had to go to Sunday school because my mom was the teacher, YPWW (Young People Willing Workers), Bible Band, choir rehearsals (although I can’t sing 😩), revivals, and district meetings. I pretty much lived at the church. Services were long and the Pastor often said he wasn’t going to be before you long but…I'm, sure he got happy and someone would say take your time. 😂
I remember a mother in the church would bust out with a song during testimony service and say, “Have you tried Jesus?”, well when they hit the organ, the drummer kicked in and the bass guitar player made the guitar talk, you couldn’t help it but to grab a tambourine when someone broke out in dance.
Big events at church were stapled like 3:30 pm services because there was also good punch and food to follow! As I talk to others my church experience may seem a little outlandish, but we had similar church experiences that are now a core of the American Black culture. Because the church is American Black culture.
“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms 139:14 NLT
Black Culture Is…
I’m often asked by others where are you from? In which, I’ll reply I’m from Dallas. This question is usually followed up with another question, nowhere are you really from? In which I say I’m from Dallas and my parents were born and raised in Dallas. While I know the ancestry test is a trend to trace your heritage, in actuality American Black culture is my heritage.
Like honestly, think about how lit we are! We have genres of music, family reunion traditions, black card revoked (like your black card can be revoked) and so much more. Just to even think about acronyms the whole quote “you good?” has so many meanings depending on how you say it.
Stay tuned, this month because I’m focusing on us! We are our culture! I’m embracing it, but also sharing some of my own experiences from the church, scars on the knees (we all have our stories) music, family functions, the intensity of games for those who can’t play spades, and to top it off the silent facial expressions (where we all know what we are saying.
“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms 139:14 NLT
Play the Cards Dealt
I had the pleasure of playing some card games with friends this weekend. We played one particular game called Phase Ten. To win the game you had to complete 10 different phases. Some phases were easy and some were much harder. Playing phase 10 was fun, but also frustrating. Some rounds you were able to complete a phase in one round, while in other phases it would take several rounds to get to the next phase.
It was frustrating to see other people moving on to the next phase, while you were still stuck on the same phase. When someone was stuck (I’m the person stuck 🙃) on a particular phase - we termed the phrase, “You can only play the cards dealt.”
It’s a term that became very true of the game, but is also applicable to life. Life is great; however, some days or even seasons it feels like you are just playing the cards life dealt when things happen which are completely out of our control.
Like in the game of Phase 10, some things are dealt which aren’t fair but continue to weather that phase with grace until the next phase. The next phase may be the best season of your life!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)
My superpower is…I am Me
It’s so important to show up everywhere you go as your true authentic self. Others can benefit when you are you - even at work. I started a new role last year and I’ve received tons of positive feedback on how others enjoy working with me because despite what happens around me every day I decide to show up as me.
For example, I love to have fun so when I lead huddles for the team, I always plan a five-minute game before we jump into the daily topics. We also have a shared board we update every day, so I started commenting under everyone’s post to say nice things and adding funny gifs or memes. Now others on my team have joined in. Those two examples may seem small, but they can make someone else day when you show up as you!
While there are billions of people on the planet, there is no one exactly like you.
No one has the same DNA strand like you.
I say this often, I can give every blogger I know the same blog topic, and our blogs will all be different. That just shows the beauty in the importance of being authentically you.
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:14
The Stage Is Set
I posted a picture on my timeline yesterday of the Cowboys stadium before the game occurred. The picture was captioned, “The Stage Is Set”.
From observing the picture, it was the subtle quietness that occurred before the game. They were anticipating what was to come once the stadium was filled with people.
When I looked at the picture, it was a reminder for me of how hopeful we can be before the New Year starts which usually carries over at least until the first week of the New Year.
New Year’s Day, the stage is set for an amazing new year.
Yells - 2022 is our year!
We set our goals, have vision board parties, and then somewhere along the way “it” happens. We lose momentum and focus or we never initiate any of our plans. The entire stage can be set for an amazing year, but if there’s no action from us then there will be no progress.
Today is Ditch New Year's Resolution Day. I know it sounds like a made-up day, but by now some people have written their plan for the year and have never taken a step towards execution.
Don’t allow this to be you. 2022 can still be your year! Let’s get this done!
“Many plans are in a person’s heart, But the advice of the Lord will stand.”
Proverbs 19:21 NASB2020
Don’t Revert Back
As y’all can see in my picture, I had my hair silk pressed over the weekend. I woke up Sunday morning and knew I signed up to serve at church (outdoors). I decided to check the weather as a part of my normal routine and saw the humidity was at 68%. For all my sistahs y’all understand high humidity is not recommended for silk pressed hair.
Well, I could have canceled serving at church to save my press, but if you are reading this blog you know what I did. I went to church and watched my hair revert to its natural state. 😂
I’m sharing this because - statistics show within a month 64% of people abandon their new goals and revert to their comfort zone. Guess what - we aren’t going to be included in this statistic. We are accomplishing all of our goals this year, so don’t revert like my hair. 😩 Continue to move forward because slow progress is progress.
P.S. If you are looking for a picture of the current state of my hair, it’s not included. 😂
“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” Ecclesiastes 9:11 KJV
It Was the Quote for Me
Y’all I love a good memorable quote. But in addition to a quote, I’m excited when the quote can transform an area of my life.
One of the quotes Dr. Dharius Daniels recently used was “Use your brain to be creative and an app or journal to store information.”
While this quote may sound simple to y’all it was revolutionary for me. It was the quote for me! 😂
I can think of several blog topics, church sermons, book ideas and so much more important information I’ve forgotten because I’ve said I’ll remember this later and guess what I didn’t because I failed to take notes. 😩 I told myself this in school too and I didn’t remember then either. 😩 Woosah. However, after hearing this quote, I now write things down in a note, task, or even add them to my calendar.
I’m sure you are wondering why am I bringing this up. Well, I’m glad you asked. I want us all to be great this year and every year. We are created in the image of the Creator; therefore, we are all creative beings.
It’s the beginning of the year, so I want us to set ourselves up for success. Don’t be like me - well the old me because now I have a whole system for storing information which - doesn’t include my brain. I allow my brain to flow creatively and the notes section of my phone for storage. I mean - I’m paying Apple for storage anyway - I might as well use all of it. 😂
“All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.” John 1:3 KJV
She can Walk that Walk
Listen she can walk that walk!
2021 was a whirlwind! Some days I felt like I was literally hit by a bus. 😩 But the next day…I bounced back! I’ll give you my top 11 things from 2021.
- My relationship with God has grown. Y’all he loves me and he be talking to me because I talk to him.
- I traveled every month of the year - which I absolutely loved!
- I caught Rona 😩, but I’m grateful I didn’t have any severe symptoms. I was basically asymptomatic. 🙌🏽
- I received a new position at work.
- I learned not to be so hard on myself, particularly about my weight. I look amazing!!!
- I had my first self Publishing event!
- I have my first client to help with self Publishing!
- My friends and I had a dope photoshoot.
- I have accountability partners in so many areas of my life. S/o to my friends from DTA!
- I joined a new church! @social_dallas
- I colead a connect group at church.
Wow, so much more happened this year, but I couldn’t have done none of it without the grace of God on my life. I’m excited about 2022 and I’m expecting amazing things.Share one of your favorite memories from 2021!
Ready, Set, Go…
I was lying in bed one night last week pondering about the past year. While I’m grateful for this year, 2021 is a roller coaster of emotions for me and it’s not over yet. Initially, I couldn’t seem to get my balance with working out, traveling, writing a new book, starting a new position, and don’t forget there’s still this global pandemic going on. 🤯 I remember telling my therapist a few months ago I think I’m broken and she quickly reminded me that I wasn’t. 😫🤣🤣🤣
Fast forward to December and I finally feel like I found my rhythm. It only took 11 months 😫, but I’m here. For me, I had to add structure back into my life especially now knowing I’m working from home permanently. Structure for me the past couple of weeks is morning devotion, prayer time, gym, work, and then scheduled time after work for any projects. Woosah.
To be honest, some days, I still struggle to get out the bed so early, but I can say I feel so much better knowing I’ve spent time with God and completed my workout before logging into work. This has also helped tremendously with my energy level at work and my adjustment to day life savings time. Y’all it’s dark so early. 😩
For many of us as the year comes to an end and the new year approaches - we think of the goals we want to start for next year. I’ve learned, you can either wait until January 1st to start those goals or we can say ready, set, go and start those goals now! Starting today will give us a jump start of a couple of weeks on a new health goal, financial goal, or any type of accomplishment. We don’t have to wait for the calendar to say January 1st to work on ourselves, we can start now! 💯
Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. KJV Isaiah 43:19
Balloons Be Poppin
Storytime: I used an air machine to blow up balloons a couple of weeks ago and there were a couple of times when I put too much air in the balloons and they popped.
This reminded me of what happens when you allow things to fester and continue to build up without dealing with them. Eventually, you feel like you are exploding because you have feelings and emotions which are unaddressed, and then like a balloon you pop.
Or lets say you are at a holiday party and you consume too much food and then your button pops on your pants. 😂
In both situations, overconsumption can be detrimental. Learn to deal with things and address them before you reach your boiling point and act out of character. Remember, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:22-23 NKJV
No-vember
It’s all fun and games when God is sending out blessings, but what about when the Holy Spirit tells you no to something.
Y’all I’m in a season where I’m focused on stewardship. Pray for me because I’m not okay. 😩😂😂😂
What is stewardship?
I’m glad you asked. Lol. The short definition of stewardship is managing the property or affairs of someone else. God has given us all talents, gifts, and resources and it is our responsibility to be a good steward of all the things he has given us.
So I’ve shared I love to travel. However, it can be an expensive hobby. Y’all it’s one thing not to be able to afford a trip, but what if Holy Spirit tells you “no” you can miss out on a trip and save all the money you were going to use for traveling? 😩
Of course, I wasn’t happy about it, but I know it is for my good. I’m learning stewardship requires discipline. And discipline leads to living a life of freedom. However, in the meantime, while you are cultivating a disciplined lifestyle - it involves saying no to yourself and others, which to be honest isn’t fun at all.But, I’ve decided I rather be a good steward of the things God has given me, so he can trust me with more.
Question: What’s something you had to say no to - to be a good steward and live a disciplined life?
“Yours, Lord, is the greatness, the power, the glory, the victory, and the majesty, indeed everything that is in the heavens and on the earth; Yours is the dominion, Lord, and You exalt Yourself as head overall. Both riches and honor come from You, and You rule over all, and in Your hand is power and might; and it lies in Your hand to make great and to strengthen everyone.”
1 Chronicles 29:11-12 NASB2020
The Secret Place
I know there are so many fear stories, but what about fear due to a real-life traumatic experience. 😩 I’ll share a personal story with y’all.
Storytime: When I was younger - elementary school age, I remember being at a cookout at someone’s house who had a pool and someone thought it would be cool to throw me in the pool. Y’all, I high key thought I was going to drown and thankfully, someone saw me panicking and helped.
As you can see - this was the beginning of my fear of drowning - which is absurd because I love water, the beach, and pools. But my fear of drowning still feels so real to me.
I’m sure you are wondering why I’m sharing this - so I’ll explain. I had a dream the other day about something I was fearful of. To be honest I forgot this was something I hadn’t worked through and it felt so real in the dream - it woke me up and I grabbed my phone and searched for scriptures on fear and found this one below and it helped me tremendously.
“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.” Psalm 91:1 KJV
First off: Psalms 91 - is all about God’s protection and safety. If you are ever feeling like you need protection, I highly recommend you read the entire chapter until it comforts you.
However, this scripture really stuck out to me because it reminded me there’s so much safety in God. He wants us to dwell in his presence and he will calm all of our fears, even if they were from prior experiences.
Coach Put Me in the Game
I had the pleasure of attending a Historical Black College/university (HBCU) football game over the weekend. The game came down to who scored on their last possession of the ball. And Alabama A&M was successful in a win over Texas Southern University (50 -43).
Listen, I love football. Here’s my perspective while watching the game. I noticed the coach remained on the sidelines and provided direction to the team; however, he could not be directly on the field once the game started. I also realized when a player wanted the coach to put him in the game he would walk the field with his coach trying to prove he was ready to enter the game. If the coach thought he was ready, he would let him play, and if not the player would wait.
In addition to this, sometimes, time-outs were called by the Coach and the team would huddle on the field or the sideline. The coach would give feedback to the team - both praise and other times correction.
Y’all know I made a correlation, right? Because I always do! 😂 The Coach for me represented my relationship with God. First off, I could see myself figuratively walking with Jesus asking him for something in his name - because there’s no other name I could ask in. Depending on if God felt I was ready he would allow me to experience it.
Just like the coach on the field, if he felt the player wasn’t ready to play due to injuries or something he wasn’t going to allow him to play. The same is true for our relationship with God - he’s not going to give us something that will destroy us.
Furthermore, depending on what we are experiencing in life there are moments we make God proud and other moments he has to correct us because he’s such a loving father.
While I love saying God, put me in the game, I can also wait for his divine yes - knowing that it’s for my protection.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 NASB2020
Power of Prayer (POP)
This photo embodies how I feel when God answers my prayers. My excitement level is literally on 100. Because I really do believe God can do anything and all things.
To be transparent, I wanted to blog about something else this week, but God spoke to me while I was at the gym this weekend about prayer. Does God pick random times to chat with y’all too? Lol, maybe it’s just me. And most of the time God talks to me, I cry. 😂 The good thing is sweat and tears look similar when you are at the gym, so no one else will know. 😂
Anywho, the purpose of this blog is to remind you of the (POP). I posted yesterday, “We write our future with our prayers.” It sounds simple, but sometimes prayer is our last resort when we are dealing with a situation and it honestly should be our first and constant heart posture.
Storytime: My workload at work last was astronomical and continued to compound exponentially daily. In addition, I had a huge project due by Friday and didn’t know how to do it. By Tuesday, I was stressed and could even feel the tension in my shoulders.
Y’all, I hate being stressed - so I knew something had to change. I prayed a very simple 3 worded prayer Tuesday night, “God help me.” Knowing that God knows everything, I didn’t feel the need to tell him all the details because he knew exactly what I was talking about. In less than 24 hours, God helped connect me with the right people in the company to complete my project.
Won’t he do it! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Like, this still blows my mind, he loves me and you so much that he won’t leave any of his children lonely or without help. He’s a good loving father. ❤️
“Because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying out, “Abba! Father!” Galatians 4:6 NASB2020
Happy National Author’s Day!
Listen, I love a good National day. I honestly completely forgot about one of my favorite’s until a friend reminded me! It’s National Author’s Day!!! 📚
As I think about this day I’m reminded of my why for my blog. When I first started blogging in 2017, I had no idea I would publish a book or a second book with a third in the works! My initial why at that time was I wanted to complete a 60-day fitness challenge and document it to help others. Fast forward until today and my why hasn’t changed - I want to help others. While my mediums for helping others may change due to different assignments my purpose and reason for starting this page remains the same. I’m grateful I get to share my experiences with all of you through my writings.
So, to all the authors, future authors and our beloved readers cheer to you!
P.S. In case you haven’t purchased one of my books, here’s the links! 🥰
Things I Learned Before I Turned 31
My Self-Publishing Secrets: Lawrencia’s Self-Publishing Blueprint
You always have to plug yourself!
Squid Game Lessons #1
I’m so grateful for the way God wired me. I literally can receive inspiration for a blog from anything. I was watching Squid Games on Netflix, episode 5. If you are watching the show, don’t read this post yet. 😂
In this episode, they are playing tug-a-war and one team is favored to win because they have 3 women on their team and an elderly man compared to the other team with all men. The elderly man assured them he had never lost a game of tug-a-war despite bigger opponents because it is all in the positioning of each player and team. The older gentleman gave them instructions on how to position themselves and other strategies to lean back for the first 30 seconds to tire out their opponent.
In addition to this, another guy on their team stepped up as a leader and suggested for them to take 3 steps forward which the team was nervous to do; however, those 3 steps helped them become victorious over their opponent.
While I’m not condoning the show, I’ve learned to find random life lessons in daily things in life. This episode showed me the importance of listening to wisdom from others, the power of teamwork, and the power of influence from a leader. If one person would not have listened or been on one accord with the team it could have cost them not only the game but their life.
Sometimes we aren’t the smartest person in the room, it’s okay to heed wisdom from others.
Share some wisdom you learned from someone else.
“Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.” Proverbs 11:14 NLT
There’s No I in Team
Growing up in a low-income area, many children including myself had limited options due to poverty being all around us. We learned survival and coping skills at an early age due to exposure to so many things in our neighborhood. However, we knew there was something bigger, which encouraged us to dream larger than what we could see. For us this was sports.
The guys and I quickly learned when we were able to connect with others playing sports it created a common ground. Sports was the only place where our ethnicity or our family's financial status didn’t matter. At that moment we all came together to enjoy the sport.
Sports gave us hope. It provided us the ability to dream, see potential, and possibly change the trajectory of our lives. We even saw generational wealth created - just from playing sports.
I’ve often heard the quote, there’s no I in team, but I truly felt when we played sports it allowed us to make new friends have coaches, mentors, and teammates - who were part of our extended family.
As a former athlete myself, I’ve seen many witness the positive impact sports had on the trajectory of a child’s life.
Would you consider changing the trajectory of a child’s life and investing in their future?
Happy Birthday Liz
Happy Birthday boo, my ched, my Lizzieblue! Y’all I have so much to say about this one. 😂 She thinks she’s one of my older sisters the way she tries to stay in my business - but I deny her. 😂
She has the biggest heart and is pro-family above all things. She’s the sister I will call if I need help with anything technology - because she’s a computer genius.
Favorite Story: Every since we were younger we would sing together - she would take the high notes and I would take the lower notes. Listen, no one can tell us we don’t harmonize well together because we did and we still do!😂
She’s my secretary. If I’m traveling anywhere - she will be the first person to know when and where I’m going and ensures I always land and make it back home safely. If allowed she will also track me on my trips. 🙃 While sometimes she gets on my last nerve, I wouldn’t trade my little sister for anyone else. She’s amazing.
Love you forever Liz! Happy 29th year of life! ❤️
The Weight of Words
I’ve recently heard two Pastors speak about watching your words and I felt compelled to share my thoughts.
In society, we have interesting cliches which are used, and honestly, they are so far from the truth. I’ll give you an example. “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt me.“ Issa lie! Words matter and they can hurt. The scripture says it like this:
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” Proverbs 18:21 MSG
I’ve heard things parents or family members have said to others and their words can be painful. However, I learned you have to come out of agreement with negative word curses spoken over your life. Just because someone said something to you, it doesn’t mean it’s you. Since life and death is in the power of our tongue, we should only be speaking life-giving things over ourselves and others. We have a responsibility to weigh our words said to other people too.
Y’all I’ve been working on practicing positive self-talk and listen I’m still a work in progress. I only verbalize positive things about myself out loud - despite what I think or feel at the moment. I read an article that stated, it’s one thing to think something negative in your head, but it is even more detrimental to verbalize it out loud. I’m no scientist, but verbalizing negative things does something different to your brain. Speak positive to yourself.
QOTD: How will you weigh your words this week and speak blessings into your life and the life of others around you?
New Friends or Nah?
At the beautiful age of 33, I can honestly say I’m blessed to have amazing friends in my life. But, what about when we meet new people, do we embrace them or do we say no new friends? 🤔
My Pastor often says all new relationships begin with an awkward hello. After that introduction, both people get to decide if they want to cultivate the relationship or leave it as is.
Making new friends can be interesting at any age, but especially after 30. 😂Sometimes friendships blossom easily and others may take a little more time. One thing I’ve learned that’s important in any friendship is to know what you need and also know what you are capable of giving to others. Don’t force yourself to be overextended.
Because friendships can have so much influence on your life, it’s okay not to be everyone’s friend. I’m going to repeat that for the people in the back: everyone is not your friend! It’s healthy to be selective in your friendships. I’ll share 3 things that I try to do when I’m considering someone as a new friend.
3 Friendly Habits
- Establish common ground and use this to set up a met up or spark conversation (what hobbies, interests do you all have in common)
- Check on them (A weekly follow-up such as how is your week going, what are you doing this weekend, etc…)
- Be friendly and open-minded to people who aren’t your typical friend. If they extend an invite for coffee and you can go - accept and get to know them. If it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. At least you tried!
A couple of my friendships started with people I didn’t think would be my friend and years later - we are still friends!
Are you open to making new friends? Why or why not?
“My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God; on behalf of a man he pleads with God as one pleads for a friend.” Job 16:20-21 NIV