It All Started with A…

I recently boarded a Southwest flight and l noticed their napkin. The napkin stated," Southwest Airlines was born on a napkin in 1971.”

While, l was on my flight I sat and thought about all the ideas of others scribbled on a napkin or in a notebook and because of fear and doubt the idea remains just that - faded words on a page. While this blog may be short,my prayer for you today is for God to help you develop a plan and for you to implement the idea, thought, or dream. Shed some light on that scribbled vision that’s on a sheet of paper tucked safely away.

For me, blogging all started with a 60 - day challenge. What’s your story?

“A dream is only a dream until you decide to make it real.” - Harry Styles

“Then the Lord said to me, “Write my answer plainly on tablets, so that a runner can carry the correct message to others. This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed.” Habakkuk‬ ‭2:2-3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Graceful Words

First off, I surpassed writing 200 blogs! 🙌🏽This is currently blog # 202. Thanks for being a part of my blogging journey! I appreciate every one of you. ❤️

I have a question for you, have you ever had a tough conversation with anyone? At some point, someone you have a relationship with will say something to offend you, whether it is intentional or not. I can admit I’ve been offended quite a few times through various relationships. I’m learning the key is not to allow the offense to become a fence in any relationship. It’s imperative to have tough conversations with others in professional and personal relationships.

I’ve had my fair share of tough conversations in which sometimes I handled them fairly well and other times they weren’t so great. I’ve realized my biggest issue with having tough conversations is sometimes I ramble. I start with good intentions and points and then, I add too much unnecessary context.

My mentor recently shared that the key in any conversation is conciseness. His quote was, “Say as much as is needed to get your point across, but no more than you have to say.”  I always feel like when I learn something new there is a testing experience. 😩

I will have to say, this time I wrote down what I had to say before the conversation. I ensured I acknowledged my feelings and ended my thoughts concisely with what I would like the result to be going forward. I’m thankful to report the conversation went well. While I’m sure I will have more conversations with others, I’m glad I now have a working blueprint of how I can be concise and handle the conversation gracefully.

How do you handle tough conversations?

“Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” Colossians‬ ‭4:6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What do you say?

Sometimes I sit down and wonder did God call me to do this or that?

Am I able to accomplish it?

Can I do it?

Do y’all deal with self-doubt too or is it just me?

I heard this recently in a sermon and it made sense.

Everything begins with a thought. You can choose to entertain that thought or replace it with the truth of God.

For example, I'm sitting in a conference room moving a vase and didn't want to drop it so l pushed it down the table. As I pushed it down the table I said," I am clumsy and then l knocked over a glass of water." While it felt like that statement validated what happened, l reminded me there is power in my words. So, at that moment l immediately stated I spilled the water, but I’m not clumsy.

I know this may sound small, but small habits are changed when you recognize them and take steps to change them.

Now I practice evaluating my thoughts and replacing them with the words of God. Even if I have to repeat the same scripture over and over until I believe it and it becomes a part of my psyche.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

Fix Your Thinking

This weekend I went to hang out with some friends at a restaurant. So, like some of you I love to plan what I am going to wear in advance in hopes it will allow me to get dressed faster. However, I quickly learned you can have a plan, but it may change real fast. Okay back to the story. lol. As I changed clothes on Friday night and put on my dress because I absolutely love dresses - my zipper broke on a brand-new dress. I attempted to try on my back up dress, but I didn't like it.

After the dress mishap, I took down my hair and realized my curling rods didn't curl any of my hair. In fact, my hair looked a hot mess. At this point, I am frustrated, and I had a whole melt down. My initial fixed though mindset was to cancel everything! But, after quickly pulling myself together I snapped out of my fixed mindset and thought of how can I apply a  growth mindset to this situation. What can I do to enjoy the evening and how can I improvise with my hair? Well, if you swipe over, I share a picture of my outfit and my hair. I'm thankful I was quickly able to change my thinking and focus on a solution vs. the problem.

QOTD: How can you apply a growth mindset to a challenge you faced today or even over the weekend?

My favorite quote: It always seems impossible, until it is done. - Nelson Mandela

We may make our plans, but God has the last word. Proverbs 16:1

Spoiled Grapes

A week ago, I was preparing to wash off some grapes I had purchased and I realized one of the grapes was rotted. I quickly checked the grapes surrounding this one particular grape and realized other grapes were no longer edible due to their proximity to the rotten grape, so I threw them away.

Listen Proximity matters!

Especially, when it comes to your community of friends. While we don’t get to pick the family we are born into, we get to pick if we want to befriend someone. Be sure you have friends in your community who are like-minded.

The scripture says, “Iron sharpens iron.” (Proverbs 27:17) Use wisdom to ensure, there are no spoiled grapes in your community.

Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” I Corinthians 15:33

Living within Boundaries

What if living within boundaries was freedom? This was a statement I heard in a message last year. I thought about this based on my own life and I agree.

One of my current goals is to have financial freedom; however, to obtain this it required me to live within a budget, set boundaries, and follow them.

While the idea of setting boundaries in life sounds easy to write it out - actually following and or implementing the boundaries is a completely different thing. Once, l set financial boundaries I was able to pay off all of my debt besides Joe Biden's loans - which led to more financial freedom. 😩😂😂 Was it easy? Not at all- especially because I love to travel, but it was worth the sacrifice.

I've learned that setting boundaries can truly lead to freedom for you in several areas of your life.

Vulnerability

There's a popular saying that says, “Check on your strong friends.” My truth: I’m someone who has struggled with vulnerability. It is still tough for me and I’m sure others admit we need help or that they we are struggling. We all have so many unique stories, traumas, and experiences that may impact how we interact with others.

How do you assist someone who doesn't know how to ask or receive help?

Well, great question.

While I can't answer for everyone I can say for me I’m grateful that I have friends who are patient and supportive and provided a genuine listening ear when I was ready to share.

One of my favorite quotes from George Washington Carver says, “Anything will give up its secrets if you love it enough. Not only have I found that when I talk to the little flower or the little peanut they will give up their secrets, but I have found that when I silently commune with people they give up their secrets also – if you love them enough.”

It is so true that if you love someone they with soon open up to you and share their story that may be near and dear to their heart. Love never fails.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.⁸ Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8

Inventing You

I’ve recently watched Inventing Anna and the Tinder Swindler. If you watched them, share your thoughts below in the comments and if you haven’t watched them, check them out on Netflix.  (Sidenote: Has anyone noticed Netflix keep increasing their bill - like Geesh everything is increasing in price.) 😩🙃

Okay, I was distracted,  but back to my story. 😂

In case you haven’t seen them here a Quick Summary of Both Shows: The series are based on true stories, in which both of the portrayed individuals change their names and utilize other people and resources in unorthodox ways to try and gain wealth and status.

First I want to say, I don’t agree with the actions from both shows and neither do I encourage or recommend anyone to recreate what they did to others. However, because I believe I can learn something from everything, it was interesting to see their confidence. For starters both individuals convinced themselves and others they were someone wealthy with a stellar family pedigree. In addition to them convincing themselves and others, they also acted upon and implemented strategies to get the resources they wanted to live the life they wanted and so much more.

After watching all of the episodes, I sat and thought about how beneficial it would be if we believed in ourselves and implemented the goals and strategies we want to accomplish our dream job or to launch our own company. With God’s help and our action - we could be unstoppable!

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phillipians 4:13

I Love Us 🖤

As we wrap up this month with blogs focusing on all things American Black Culture, I want you to take a moment and consider your favorite enjoyable thing about American black culture. Whether it is the versatility of our hairstyles and hair textures, our music, the food, our style of clothing, or even our language between each other. Like there are some things we just know and it doesn’t have to be verbalized. Like your mom giving you a side-eye, you and your friend making that connecting glance, and y’all both spot the same thing or the trash-talking during a game of spades or dominoes. It’s all a part of what makes us, who we are.

As Black History Month is coming to a close, we still have every day to celebrate who we are. No day or month on the calendar will change my gratefulness for being a proud black woman.

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Black Culture is: Our Music

Music is powerful. Music moves your heart, mind, and soul and even changes your mood. Music is a way to connect with others and is such a vibe. To be honest, I have my best cleaning days when I turn on some music and find a good playlist.

In American Black Culture music is a staple at every event from family reunions to birthdays. Family reunions are filled with line dances because it isn’t a family reunion until you do the electric slide. And let’s not forget about birthdays -y’all know we are going to sing the Stevie Wonder redemption of the song.

Even when you are singing at church, the runs on a solo hit a little differently and run a little longer. We will remix a song and combine them all into one and before you know it you have a 3 min song that turned into a 15-minute song. (But who’s counting?!!!) lol - me. 😂

The fact that we have our Black National Anthem, 🎶Lift Every Voice and Sing. 🎶

I mean - what more can I say!

From hip hop, rap, r&b, the quiet storm, blues, reggae, gospel, etc. - there’s music for everyone.

A good drum beat even without music - you can feel it in your soul.

Whether I’m saying, “It’s 7 o clock on the dot” or, “ You make me happy, this you can bet… someone will always jump in and finish the song.

I’ll leave you with this fun fact about my favorite artist and see if you can guess the artist.

“How you gon' win when you ain't right within”.

Our music is a part of American Black History.

Black Culture: Church Experience

I can’t recall a moment when the church wasn’t a part of my life because the church is a huge part of American Black Culture. There are a ton of phrases you use in church - that you just know like, God is good all the time and all… well if you are reading this you probably know the rest.

My American black church experience included Easter speeches ruffled socks, itchy stockings when I got older, Christmas plays, packed houses for Mother’s Day, fresh hair presses the day before church (and I don’t care what my mom said she burnt me with the hot comb it wasn’t the grease). Those were staple holidays known as - CME.

My mom was super active in the church so we had to go to Sunday school because my mom was the teacher, YPWW (Young People Willing Workers), Bible Band, choir rehearsals (although I can’t sing 😩), revivals, and district meetings. I pretty much lived at the church. Services were long and the Pastor often said he wasn’t going to be before you long but…I'm, sure he got happy and someone would say take your time. 😂

I remember a mother in the church would bust out with a song during testimony service and say, “Have you tried Jesus?”, well when they hit the organ, the drummer kicked in and the bass guitar player made the guitar talk, you couldn’t help it but to grab a tambourine when someone broke out in dance.

Big events at church were stapled like 3:30 pm services because there was also good punch and food to follow! As I talk to others my church experience may seem a little outlandish, but we had similar church experiences that are now a core of the American Black culture. Because the church is American Black culture.

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Black Culture Is…

I’m often asked by others where are you from? In which, I’ll reply I’m from Dallas. This question is usually followed up with another question, nowhere are you really from? In which I say I’m from Dallas and my parents were born and raised in Dallas. While I know the ancestry test is a trend to trace your heritage, in actuality American Black culture is my heritage.

Like honestly, think about how lit we are! We have genres of music, family reunion traditions, black card revoked (like your black card can be revoked) and so much more. Just to even think about acronyms the whole quote “you good?” has so many meanings depending on how you say it.

Stay tuned, this month because I’m focusing on us! We are our culture! I’m embracing it, but also sharing some of my own experiences from the church, scars on the knees (we all have our stories) music, family functions, the intensity of games for those who can’t play spades, and to top it off the silent facial expressions (where we all know what we are saying.

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Play the Cards Dealt

I had the pleasure of playing some card games with friends this weekend. We played one particular game called Phase Ten. To win the game you had to complete 10 different phases. Some phases were easy and some were much harder. Playing phase 10 was fun, but also frustrating. Some rounds you were able to complete a phase in one round, while in other phases it would take several rounds to get to the next phase.

It was frustrating to see other people moving on to the next phase, while you were still stuck on the same phase. When someone was stuck (I’m the person stuck 🙃) on a particular phase  - we termed the phrase, “You can only play the cards dealt.”

It’s a term that became very true of the game, but is also applicable to life. Life is great; however, some days or even seasons it feels like you are just playing the cards life dealt when things happen which are completely out of our control.

Like in the game of Phase 10, some things are dealt which aren’t fair but continue to weather that phase with grace until the next phase. The next phase may be the best season of your life!

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

My superpower is…I am Me

It’s so important to show up everywhere you go as your true authentic self. Others can benefit when you are you - even at work. I started a new role last year and I’ve received tons of positive feedback on how others enjoy working with me because despite what happens around me every day I decide to show up as me.

For example, I love to have fun so when I lead huddles for the team, I always plan a five-minute game before we jump into the daily topics. We also have a shared board we update every day, so I started commenting under everyone’s post to say nice things and adding funny gifs or memes. Now others on my team have joined in. Those two examples may seem small, but they can make someone else day when you show up as you!

While there are billions of people on the planet, there is no one exactly like you.

No one has the same DNA strand like you.

I say this often, I can give every blogger I know the same blog topic, and our blogs will all be different. That just shows the beauty in the importance of being authentically you. 

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 139:14

The Stage Is Set

I posted a picture on my timeline yesterday of the Cowboys stadium before the game occurred. The picture was captioned, “The Stage Is Set”.

From observing the picture, it was the subtle quietness that occurred before the game. They were anticipating what was to come once the stadium was filled with people.

When I looked at the picture, it was a reminder for me of how hopeful we can be before the New Year starts which usually carries over at least until the first week of the New Year.

New Year’s Day, the stage is set for an amazing new year.

Yells - 2022 is our year!

We set our goals, have vision board parties, and then somewhere along the way “it” happens. We lose momentum and focus or we never initiate any of our plans. The entire stage can be set for an amazing year, but if there’s no action from us then there will be no progress.

Today is Ditch New Year's Resolution Day. I know it sounds like a made-up day, but by now some people have written their plan for the year and have never taken a step towards execution.

Don’t allow this to be you. 2022 can still be your year! Let’s get this done!

“Many plans are in a person’s heart, But the advice of the Lord will stand.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭19:21‬ ‭NASB2020‬‬

Don’t Revert Back

As y’all can see in my picture, I had my hair silk pressed over the weekend. I woke up Sunday morning and knew I signed up to serve at church (outdoors). I decided to check the weather as a part of my normal routine and saw the humidity was at 68%. For all my sistahs y’all understand high humidity is not recommended for silk pressed hair.

Well, I could have canceled serving at church to save my press, but if you are reading this blog you know what I did. I went to church and watched my hair revert to its natural state. 😂

I’m sharing this because - statistics show within a month 64% of people abandon their new goals and revert to their comfort zone. Guess what - we aren’t going to be included in this statistic. We are accomplishing all of our goals this year, so don’t revert like my hair. 😩 Continue to move forward because slow progress is progress.

P.S. If you are looking for a picture of the current state of my hair, it’s not included. 😂

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” Ecclesiastes‬ ‭9:11‬ ‭KJV‬‬

It Was the Quote for Me

Y’all I love a good memorable quote. But in addition to a quote, I’m excited when the quote can transform an area of my life.

One of the quotes Dr. Dharius Daniels recently used was “Use your brain to be creative and an app or journal to store information.”

While this quote may sound simple to y’all it was revolutionary for me. It was the quote for me! 😂

I can think of several blog topics, church sermons, book ideas and so much more important information I’ve forgotten because I’ve said I’ll remember this later and guess what I didn’t because I failed to take notes. 😩 I told myself this in school too and I didn’t remember then either. 😩 Woosah. However, after hearing this quote, I now write things down in a note, task, or even add them to my calendar.

I’m sure you are wondering why am I bringing this up. Well, I’m glad you asked. I want us all to be great this year and every year. We are created in the image of the Creator; therefore, we are all creative beings.

It’s the beginning of the year, so I want us to set ourselves up for success. Don’t be like me - well the old me because now I have a whole system for storing information which - doesn’t include my brain. I allow my brain to flow creatively and the notes section of my phone for storage. I mean - I’m paying Apple for storage anyway - I might as well use all of it. 😂

“All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.” John‬ ‭1:3‬ ‭KJV‬‬

She can Walk that Walk

Listen she can walk that walk!

2021 was a whirlwind! Some days I felt like I was literally hit by a bus. 😩 But the next day…I bounced back! I’ll give you my top 11 things from 2021.

• My relationship with God has grown. Y’all he loves me and he be talking to me because I talk to him.
• I traveled every month of the year - which I absolutely loved!
• I caught Rona 😩, but I’m grateful I didn’t have any severe symptoms. I was basically asymptomatic. 🙌🏽
• I received a new position at work.
• I learned not to be so hard on myself, particularly about my weight. I look amazing!!!
• I had my first self Publishing event!
• I have my first client to help with self Publishing!
• My friends and I had a dope photoshoot.
• I have accountability partners in so many areas of my life. S/o to my friends from DTA!
• I joined a new church! @social_dallas
•  I colead a connect group at church.

Wow, so much more happened this year, but I couldn’t  have done none of it without the grace of God on my life. I’m excited about 2022 and I’m expecting amazing things.Share one of your favorite memories from 2021! 

Ready, Set, Go…

I was lying in bed one night last week pondering about the past year. While I’m grateful for this year, 2021 is a roller coaster of emotions for me and it’s not over yet. Initially, I couldn’t seem to get my balance with working out, traveling, writing a new book, starting a new position, and don’t forget there’s still this global pandemic going on. 🤯 I remember telling my therapist a few months ago I think I’m broken and she quickly reminded me that I wasn’t. 😫🤣🤣🤣

Fast forward to December and I finally feel like I found my rhythm. It only took 11 months 😫, but I’m here. For me, I had to add structure back into my life especially now knowing I’m working from home permanently. Structure for me the past couple of weeks is morning devotion, prayer time, gym, work, and then scheduled time after work for any projects. Woosah.

To be honest, some days, I still struggle to get out the bed so early, but I can say I feel so much better knowing I’ve spent time with God and completed my workout before logging into work. This has also helped tremendously with my energy level at work and my adjustment to day life savings time. Y’all it’s dark so early. 😩

For many of us as the year comes to an end and the new year approaches - we think of the goals we want to start for next year. I’ve learned, you can either wait until January 1st to start those goals or we can say ready, set, go and start those goals now! Starting today will give us a jump start of a couple of weeks on a new health goal, financial goal, or any type of accomplishment. We don’t have to wait for the calendar to say January 1st to work on ourselves, we can start now! 💯

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. KJV Isaiah 43:19

Balloons Be Poppin

Storytime: I used an air machine to blow up balloons a couple of weeks ago and there were a couple of times when I put too much air in the balloons and they popped.

This reminded me of what happens when you allow things to fester and continue to build up without dealing with them. Eventually, you feel like you are exploding because you have feelings and emotions which are unaddressed, and then like a balloon you pop.

Or lets say you are at a holiday party and you consume too much food and then your button pops on your pants. 😂

In both situations, overconsumption can be detrimental. Learn to deal with things and address them before you reach your boiling point and act out of character. Remember, one of the fruits of the spirit is self-control.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.” Galatians‬ ‭5:22-23‬ ‭NKJV‬‬