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The Woman King

Have y’all seen the movie The Woman King yet? If not, let me tell you, it’s a must-watch! One of the standout moments for me was a powerful quote delivered by the incredible Viola Davis: “We don’t act alone.”

This simple yet profound statement shows the essence of the film’s message about the value of community. The women in The Woman King are depicted as powerful forces of strength and resilience, but their true power emerges when they come together. Through their unity, they strategize, plan, and support one another, creating a unified team that is far greater than the sum of its parts.

In the movie, their collaborative efforts significantly reduce the number of casualties and lead them to victory in their battles. It’s a vivid illustration of how collective effort and mutual support can yield remarkable results.

Now, imagine how much better our world could be if we all embraced this mindset. What if we prioritized working together, leveraging each other’s strengths, and covering each other’s weaknesses? How much more could we achieve? The sense of solidarity and shared purpose seen in The Woman King is something we could all learn from and apply in our own lives.

So, next time you face a challenge, remember Viola Davis’s words: “We don’t act alone.” Let’s strive to build communities where we lift each other up, collaborate, and create a world where unity and cooperation lead us to greater heights.

Last Blog: The Importance of Community: Lessons from “The Best Man: The Final Chapters”

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The Importance of Community: Lessons from “The Best Man: The Final Chapters”

I recently watched “The Best Man: The Final Chapters,” and while I’m not here to spoil the plot for those who haven’t seen it, I can’t help but share some of the valuable lessons the show imparted. One theme that resonated deeply with me was the significance of community and the unique ways in which friends show up for one another.

In one scene, the community of friends rallies around a friend in need, each contributing in their own distinct way. One friend brought food, another came with drinks, and a third arrived with a deck of cards. These gestures, though varied, were equally meaningful. Each friend supported their loved one in the way they knew best, demonstrating that showing up authentically is what truly matters.

This scene is a beautiful reminder of the power of community. It teaches us that the best way to support our friends is by being true to ourselves. Whether it’s providing a meal, offering a listening ear, or bringing a bit of fun, our unique contributions are valuable. The key is to always show up for your friends when they need you, in a way that feels genuine to you.

So, the next time a friend is in need, remember: it’s not about what you bring, but that you bring yourself, authentically and wholeheartedly. Your presence, in whatever form it takes, is what makes all the difference.

Last Blog: The Backside of a BlessingTo check out more of my blogs and or content check out my Linktree!

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How to handle the Backside of a Blessing

I could easily call this blog “The Keith Lee Effect”—but I won’t. If you aren’t sure who Keith Lee is, he’s a boxer, a lover of God, and a food connoisseur. He visits different restaurants in various cities, trying a variety of places—mom-and-pop shops, local recommendations, and stories submitted to help the community. He usually purchases his food to go, records himself trying the food on camera, and then gives it a rating. If the rating is great, within hours of him posting the review online, the restaurant experiences an increased demand that they often aren’t prepared for—this is the backside of a blessing!

Blessings can be messy!

Everyone prays for blessings, but are you prepared for the overflow? 

Do you have systems in place to handle increased demand? If you are praying for more money, do you have a plan for how you will steward it?

My new request when I pray for a blessing is for the wisdom to steward it well!

Last Blog: Day 2 of 🔌

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Day 2 of 🔌

I expected to have power when I woke up on May 29th, but flipping the light switch confirmed it was still out. After heading to the gym, I came home to a thoughtful delivery from a friend—a smoothie and healthy chips for breakfast. #joymoments

The office day was pretty nice, filled with check-ins from family, friends, and coworkers. I finally got an update from Oncor, which stated:

“ONCOR is repairing storm damage and estimates power restoration between today and Friday, with harder-hit areas by Saturday. Seek alternative accommodations if without power. Check your meter base for damage and contact an electrician if needed. Thank you for your patience.”

Following their advice, I made arrangements to stay at my sister’s house for a few days. I’m grateful to have so many family members and friends offering their homes to me.

Last Blog: Finding Joy in the Storm 

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Finding Joy in Storms

This morning started with a bang—literally. I woke up to a fierce storm, with winds so strong that I could barely hear the tornado sirens. After several power flickers, I finally dragged myself out of bed only to find that the electricity was out. Fun times. 😬

Undeterred, I attempted to drive to work despite the rain, but quickly turned back when I saw the extent of the damage: trees down and debris scattered everywhere.

To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I was without power for more than a few hours. I’m not saying this to brag, but just to share my reality. Back home, I texted my employer to let them know I’d come in later once the weather cleared. With some unexpected free time, I indulged in one of my favorite pastimes—resting! #findingjoy

When I eventually made it to work to catch up on emails, I remembered my hair appointment. I needed to wash and blow-dry my hair, so I texted my beautician. To my delight, when I washed my hair, I still had hot water. #findingjoy This little luxury felt like a wink from God.

The rest of the night was quiet and uneventful. I made it through and am grateful. Instead of complaining, I choose to find moments of gratitude and share my experiences through this blog. I hope it helps someone else.

Last Week’s Blog: Path to Holiness

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Internal Investment

Culture conditions you to invest in what you put on you when you should invest in what you put inside of you.

Now I love a cute outfit, a nice purse, a new pair of shoes and some really nice perfume. Side note: If anyone can find this Delina Exclusif perfume in a small bottle let me know because the current price is... 😩🫥 Okay, I digress!

As much as I like new clothes and nice things I realize I can only spend money on external things within reason, which is why I don’t mind thrifting. As nice as the clothes are that I put on my body, I realize it is even more important to pay attention to what I invest inside of me as well.

I am in therapy and have been for over 4 to 5 years. I am also in a mentorship program and I listen to helpful books and or podcasts which are related to what I am currently experiencing. Additionally, I feed my mind mentally from the Bible and expand my thinking by engaging in conversations with others. I’ve realized, what I take in is even more important than what I have on my body. How are you feeding yourself internally?

Last week’s Blog: Approved

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Fighting Temptations

Y'all remember the movie Fighting Temptations? I don't remember the plot of the movie, but the title was perfect for this blog.

My pastor preached a sermon yesterday titled Recipe of Regret. He talked about the story of Jacob and Esau and how Esau regretted his decision he made of selling his birthright to Jacob his brother for a bowl of soup. I encourage you to read Genesis chapter 25 and 26 for yourself. 

Aside: Get comfortable reading stories for yourself, so that God can speak to you directly.

In the sermon, he gave us 3 points for a recipe for regret which I will share below. When I was listening to the sermon, I realized the points could also apply when you are making decisions about eating food, particularly when you have decided to eat healthier. I thought about the scripture there is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9) - meaning, some of the same things experienced in the bible, we experience today like the temptation of food. Also, see the story in the Bible in which Jesus was tempted with food by the devil after fasting for 40 days and 40 nights. (See Matthew 4:1-11)

Okay back to the story, here is the list shared, renamed My Fighting Temptation list.

3 Ways to Fighting Temptations

  1. Don’t decide in isolation. You need council.
  2. Don’t decide tired. Cultivate a rhythm of rest and have healthier options available to make your decision easier.
  3. Don’t make a decision which provides immediate gratification. Think long term.

I hope this list helped and it is something you can come back to often and utilize when you are fighting temptations. One of the things I am considering to fight temptations is ordering my food online. I  need healthy food sent straight to my home whether it is juicing or meal kits. This way I have less decisions to make and when I am tired, healthy options will already be available for me to consume; therefore, I am more likely to eat healthier.

What is one practical way you plan to fight temptations in your life?

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Path to Holiness

Since I can remember, I’ve always been a church kid and often heard the word “sanctification.”

First off, we are growing together, and you get to hear all about my journey. It’s a wild one! 😂 Feel free to share your journey in the comments; I’d love to hear about it. Now, back to the word “sanctification.” What does it really mean?

I define it as the process that begins when you say yes to Jesus. For most, it’s a journey of learning more about God and what it means to be a Christian. Key word: process! It usually doesn’t happen overnight, though it can.

In my journey as a Christian, I’ve experienced seasons of learning and unlearning many things.

Of course, there are major things I’ve stopped doing, but in this season, I’m focusing on the small, often overlooked aspects—like asking for forgiveness, being mindful of my environment, watching what I say and do, and my attitude. 😬 I might have to write a blog called “Watch Your Mouth” later. Woosah.

I realize that, for some people, I might be the only representation of Jesus they know. So, I often ask myself if my behavior aligns with biblical principles when I interact with them. Would Jesus smile at my actions?

I hope you noticed I said I’m working on this with God’s help. My goal isn’t perfection, but I do expect to get better. The more you practice holy or biblical principles, the more likely you are to choose them when faced with decisions. Through introspection, I’ve learned that sometimes what God desires of me makes me feel crazy—but then I realize it’s not about me. My existence is to glorify Him.

Last Week’s Blog: Why Therapy Became a Necessity: A Journey to Mental Health Awareness

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Why Therapy Became a Necessity: A Journey to Mental Health Awareness

As Mental Health Awareness Month continues, I’ve come to firmly believe that just as we prioritize yearly check-ups with our healthcare providers, we should also prioritize regular check-ins with our mental health.

I’ve been an advocate for therapy for some time now. Since August 2019, I’ve been engaged in therapy sessions, and I foresee it being a lifelong commitment, complemented by coaching. After all, why not set ourselves up for success in every aspect of life?

My personal formula for a fulfilling life comprises my relationship with God, therapy sessions, a supportive community, and well-defined boundaries. Looking back, my only regret is not starting therapy sooner.

But why did I start therapy?

In August 2019, I found myself on the verge of releasing my first book while simultaneously navigating the turmoil of a relationship that seemed to be coming to an end. Amidst the celebrations of one of my biggest accomplishments, I was grappling with heartbreak. Walking into my therapist’s office that day, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but I knew I needed a safe space to unpack my emotions with someone nonjudgmental and unbiased. Dr. Pearson, my therapist, helped me gain perspective. She asked me to consider what I would lose if the relationship ended—would I still have the essentials like food, transportation, and financial stability? Together, we explored various options for navigating the relationship. Walking out of her office that day, I felt empowered, and I’ve continued my therapy journey ever since. I recognize that my positive experience with my first therapist was fortunate, but I understand that this isn’t always the case for everyone.

If you’ve tried therapy and it hasn’t worked out, my advice is to give it another chance. Just like dating, finding the right therapist is about collecting data and finding the right fit. If the first therapist isn’t the right match, don’t hesitate to try another.

If you’re considering therapy but unsure where to start, here are a few resources to explore:

1. Therapy for Black Girls

2. Psychology Today

3. Your Employer’s EAP Benefits

4. Better Help

5. Therapist.com

6. Talkspace

7. Therapy for Black Men.Org

8. Your Insurance Company 

Are you currently in therapy? If so, what prompted you to start, and how has your experience been so far?

 Are you considering signing up for therapy?

Last Week’s Blog: My Walk With God

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My Walk with God

I’ve always known of God, but to be honest I’ve been closer to him now than I’ve ever been in my life.

To explain you know how you know someone by their face or you may know their name - but until you spend a lot of time with them you don’t really know their personality or who they are. I heard a quote and I’ll try to quote it correctly, Until you know a person’s name, you don’t know them.

In this season, I’m learning the many names of God and his personality.

I’ve quoted the prayer of faith several times, faithfully had a prayer time for the past few years, listened to the Bible app, served at church and still needed to go deeper with God. All the things I mentioned above are great - but the scripture reminds me what would it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul? (Mark 8:36)

I made assumptions that “doing church” was enough and it’s not. It’s about relationship and having respect for God. The more you love someone, there’s just some things you won’t do because you know it doesn’t please them. This one sentence sums of intimacy for me. The more I realize I love Jesus - the less of a desire I have for sinning because I realize it doesn’t bring him joy.

For me the decision to have a reverence for God didn’t happen over night, it’s been a gradual process of stopping several things like not having sex before marriage, white lies are not okay because a lie is a lie and gluttony is a sin. My personal convictions (not condemnation) for God and against sin are much stronger.

What’s a conviction? I would describe a conviction as an impression on your heart of what you know to do or not to do. It’s kind of like when you were a kid and there were things you didn’t do because you knew your parents wouldn’t be okay with it.

So, this is where I am currently on my journey with God. I would love to say that everyday I have a blast 😂 but no. But I really want to show others you can live at God’s standard. A standard is the floor - so of course, there’s levels to this. 

Also, the goal is never perfection, it's relationship. I'm in need of his grace and mercy daily - just like any one else!

How are you living?

Last Week’s Blog: Boldness

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What Does it Cost You?

As a Christian, I’ve heard the story of Jesus death, burial and the resurrection so many times, but every time I hear the story again I hear a new detail. That’s really my new prayer in this season, God reveal something new to me as I read the scriptures with fresh eyes. 

I was recently thinking about my sins cost Jesus his life. That’s heavy. There’s no way, I can ever repay Jesus for what he did - ever! 

But, what I can do is learn to give God a yes in every season in my life. 

Giving God a yes, can be scary, but as a I grow in my walk in Christ, I realize my release of my hand causes him to release his hand and reveal his plan for my life which far exceeds mine. As many of us walk through seasons, ask God what can you release to receive more of him? 

It may cost you sacrificing some sleep to waking up earlier, a relationship, your own plans and it will be worth it to receive all God has for you the remainder of the year in 2024! 

Last week’s Blog:  My Testimony of God’s ProtectionTo check out more of my blogs and or content check out my Linktree!Did you miss a blog post? Don’t worry, subscribe to my newsletter! ❤️

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My Testimony of God’s Protection

***“Viewer discretion advised: This blog contains content discussing a shooting incident, which may be disturbing to some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.”***

If you know me, then you know I’m only sharing because I feel this may help someone and because I feel led to share.

On Oct 14th I happened to be at the State Fair when the shooting happened in the food court area. While, I wasn’t in the immediate vicinity the fear and panic in that moment could be felt by all there as we ran for safety. While, I won’t recount exact details, for me it was a traumatic experience.

That night, I came home - prayed, journaled and did all the things I knew to do to help me move forward.

Looking back over the past six months I realize the main things which aided in my progress were:

  1. Praise and worship (the impact for healing this has on the brain is top tier)
  2. Therapy (having someone to listen non judgmentally and provide ways to work through things has been helpful)
  3. My community! My friends, family, church prayer team, DTA community have surrounded me like never before. I can’t thank you enough for listening to me and for praying for me.
  4.  Sharing my story with others.

 Through that experience, I’ve learned God designed us to be resilient. With the help of the Holy Spirit, we can retrain our brains to think about things which are more edifying and positive. One of the books I read was Cleaning up our Mental Mess by Dr. Carolyn Leaf while also binging her YouTube content and listening to Pastor John Hannah’s 4am prayers.

I realize I’m loved by God and he protected me even in that moment. My encouragement for others is to seek help if needed, call on God - he’s always there and never underestimate the power of a good therapist!

”And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.“
‭‭Revelation‬ ‭12‬:‭11‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Last week’s Blog: Veggie Tales

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Veggie Tales

Spoiler Alert: I have a garden! I feel like there are so many wonderful lessons in gardening which I’m excited to learn. Sometimes, I honestly just want to sit outside and watch the plants to see if they grow. One of the first lessons I’ve learned is the importance of growing in the right soil. Soil for a plant provides their source of nutrients and water. Without the needed nutrients and soil for their life, plants can’t flourish or grow. When I relate this to my own life, I think about how God is my source. In addition to having the right nutrients to feed my body and soul, I have to have water just like plants, and the right resources such as relationships, capital, and food for proper nourishment.  How is the soil in your life? Is God your source? Do you have the necessary resources to provide nutrients to your soul and body? We are all plants - awaiting the necessary resources to flourish! 

Last week’s Blog: https://www.wrenhowsway.com/lifes-pace/

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Life’s Pace 

I recently purchased a new to me car. My car’s name is L. Beeszy. There are so many safety features on L. Beeszy, which were not on my prior vehicle. One of the safety features I recently noticed was when I’m reversing in addition to the backup camera, if I reverse too fast my car stops for me. The first time it happened, I was nervous because I wasn’t sure what happened - but it has caused me to slow down. 

I was sharing about my car with my sister yesterday and I realized there are so many lessons in life if you choose to lean in. This lesson reminded me that God tries to lead and direct our lives in similar patterns. Sometimes we are going so swiftly that he will orchestrate events and things to happen in such a way to have us stop and recalibrate. There’s a natural rhythm to life to move forward or look backward to look inward if you need to revisit things. Stay with a steady pace - not trying to get too far ahead or going back too much that you must stop to redirect.

 

Last week’s Blog: Your Joseph Day

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Your Joseph Day

I’ve read and heard the story of Joseph several times; however, this time while reading, it hit me differently.

I encourage you to read the scriptures for yourself. Y’all the Bible is rich, full of wisdom and gems from cover to cover. If you read it with fresh eyes and ask God to speak to you in new ways he will do so.

Okay, back to Joseph. Lol. To give a high-level summary, Joseph was a dreamer and was the son of Jacob and Rachel.

Joseph was Jacob's favorite because he was conceived when they were older in age. Because he was his dad’s favorite, his dad made him a coat of many colors and his brothers hated that their dad loved Joseph more. One day, Jacob sent Joseph to check on his brothers in the field with the sheep. They saw Joseph approaching from a distance and made plans to kill him. Instead of killing him they decided to sell him off into slavery and made it appear to their dad he was eaten by wild animals. Crazy right?!!! All of this is in the Bible by the way. (Genesis 37 the entire chapter)

Fast forward to decades later and a lot of skipped events in Joseph's story - there was a famine in the land and Joseph brothers had to come to where he now worked as Commander of the land in Egypt to get food. When his brothers came to Egypt to purchase food, Joseph recognized them, but they didn't recognize him. After a series of events, Joseph eventually revealed his identity to his brothers with tears in his eyes. 

At that moment, Joseph could have said so many things to his brothers - since they did previously send him away. 

Instead he told them: ”Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.“ Genesis‬ ‭45‬:‭5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Like wow! This is purpose. What Joseph went through wasn’t just for him but for him to save so many people including his own family. He wasn’t bitter toward them - he was healed. If you ever want to know what forgiveness looks like - read how it is reflected in the Bible.

I’m sure you are reading this and you are like what’s your point - great question. I’m  getting there.

Maybe you need to reframe your story and look for God's fingerprints in it. 

Maybe perhaps, you are preserving life! When will you have your day like Joseph to truly heal and reframe your story into purpose?

Scripture References: Genesis 30:22-24; Genesis 37:3-11, Genesis Chapters 42-45

Last week’s Blog: Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

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Fix Your Eyes on Jesus

There’s a famous picture from the 2016 Olympics with Michael Phelps in the water swimming to the finish line and another Olympian competing against him in the next lane. The other Olympian turns his head to look at Phelps instead of continuing to look at his finish line.

This blog title also makes me think of Lot’s wife in the Bible (read Genesis Chapter 19 ) also check out my blog Salt Please.

To summarize quickly, the angels gave Lot and his wife specific instructions - Run for your lives, don't stop and don’t look back. All Lot’s wife had to do was fix her eyes on Jesus. But she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. Whew 😥.

Isn’t that a depiction of our own life?

We turn to the left, right and back to see what others have going.

I’m writing this, but I’m guilty myself. 🙃

We can be winning and successful in whatever field and entity we are working and then we fix our eyes on others instead of keeping them on Jesus.

The word of God reminds us in Hebrews  12:2: We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.

In this season we must keep our eyes on Jesus and him alone. Turning and fixating our eyes on others can led to so many other things that God didn’t intend.

As we go through this week and we encounter so many circumstances, will you make the decision to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus?

Last week’s Blog: FocusedTo check out more of my blogs and or content check out my Linktree!Did you miss a blog post? Don’t worry, subscribe to my newsletter! ❤️

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Focused

Last week I was working on scheduling my blog post, creating my newsletter, recording my YouTube video, and scheduling all posts. While this usually takes about 30-45 minutes of my week, I challenged myself to remain focused until I finished the task.

What does it mean to remain focused?

For me, this meant, not reading or responding to text messages, emails or browsing social media or the internet until I finished everything. While focusing on the list I mentioned above I realized my brain wondered on so many other things (hence this blog post that I didn’t write until after I focused).

When did we become so distracted and what can we do to change it?

On average, people make over 30,000 decisions in one day. 🤯

That’s insane!

It means we have to be intentional to stay focused more than ever before to complete a task. We may have to put our phones on do not disturb, add stickie notes to the computer to encourage you to focus and delete or halt access to apps. We must prioritize the thing which is important before we are mindlessly scrolling social media.

Spoiler alert: I focused and finished prepping and recording everything all in one seating! 🙌🏽

This week, what will it cost you to complete whatever you are working?

Remember, the ability to focus is the currency of the future.

Last week’s Blog: Jesus Wept

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Jesus Wept

I often share I was raised in church - not as a badge of honor but as a reminder that it helped shape my foundation with God. My mom was a Sunday School teacher and I learned early on that “Jesus Wept” was the shortest verse in the Bible.

While I’ve always known this scripture for as long as I can remember, recently I’ve thought about how Jesus was on earth and experienced the same feelings we felt. There’s a story in the Bible where he was angry and another scripture referencing his weeping when his friend Lazarus died. (That he raised from the dead). In all of his human deity on earth, he allowed himself to feel and have experiences just like us.

Therefore, feelings and emotions aren’t either good or bad; however, we can’t allow them to control us or our actions. Feel your feelings as much as you need to, talk to your therapist, trusted friends, family, and others, and don’t allow your feelings to control you. Knowing that Jesus had human experiences, makes me comfortable to share any of the experiences I’ve had with Him. There’s nothing I can share that he can’t handle.

John 11:35 Jesus Wept.John 11:38 Jesus was angry.John 11:1-40 Full encounter of Lazarus resurrection  

Last week’s Blog: Identity

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Identity

What ten words describe you the best as a person?

I have time today, I’ll wait for you to write them.

This was one of the questions I received in a devotion on the Bible app called, “My Identity in Christ”.

I’ll share with you my 10 words to see if we have any of the same words! Also, if you can’t think of 10 words, that’s okay, ask a trusted friend and or family member and or read Ephesians 1, 2 and 3. Those chapters have a lot of verses which share what God says about us. Okay, here’s my 10.

10 Words that Best Describes Me
  1. Beautiful
  2. Loved
  3. Whole
  4. Unique
  5. Intelligent
  6. Creative
  7. Redeemed
  8. Blessed
  9. Favored
  10. Chosen

To be honest, the first 6 was hard to come up with and after that I had to think for a quick second - what does God think about me? What would my closet friends say about me?

I think often times our identity is so rooted in so many things - such as a career, status, wealth, relationships, titles, materialistic things and so much more. But, if we really sit and be honest - if all of those things are gone, who are you at your core? And does it align with scripture?

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalms‬ ‭139‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Last week’s Blog: Hacking Yourself

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Hacking Yourself

Some of my friends may disagree, but I can be lazy sometimes by my own standards.

My truth: Since the end of November, I’ve had no desire to workout. My prior gym closed down in November and I was devastated because I finally found something I loved - so it didn’t feel like working out.

I’ve joined two gyms since then and neither feel like home, so I’m still open to exploring more options. Until then, I’m realizing on days I lack motivation after a full day of work I have to coach myself.

The most important person, I’ll ever coach is me. I have to create hacks for myself because no one knows me better than me. I mean I could lie to myself but it would be counterproductive for me - therefore, I’m learning I have to hack myself!

I know if I’m off work, I need to go to work in the morning because if I wait until later in the day - I’m probably going to lay down and take a nap and chill. I’m a component of the motto, to thine own self be true. So, as I learn to get better at hacking myself with grace and flexibility, I’ll share what I’ve learned. Happy hacking day!

I’m curious, what do you do to motivate yourself on days you lack motivation?

Last week’s Blog: Impulsiveness

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