I was watching my friend’s daughters the other day and they were riding in the car with me while I ran errands. One of the sisters told the other one while we were riding, scoot over I need some space. I immediately reminisced back to my childhood days in a home with 6 sisters and remembered several conversations in which I asked a sister to scoot over because I needed space. Lol.
This reminded me of the need for boundaries.
I’ve learned in every relationship there is an opportunity to establish healthy boundaries. Boundaries first start with how you treat yourself and then are reflected in how you treat others. It is okay to establish boundaries in all types of relationships.
How do you know if you need boundaries?
That’s a great question, I’m glad you ask, but first, let’s talk about a few types of boundaries.
There are emotional, personal and relational boundaries to name a few.
How do I know if I need boundaries?
1. Do I feel a situation goes against anything that makes me feel violated?
2. Do I say “OK” or say nothing when I would rather not do something for someone, because I don’t want a confrontation?
3. Do I let other people define what my behavior means? (Ex:
“You don’t really love me if you won’t…)
These are a few questions that can help you explore the topic of boundaries. The discussion of boundaries is such an in-depth topic. The main thing about boundaries is that it all starts with you and your identity. Of course, the responses will vary from person to person; however, it is okay to ask does this situation or relationship serves me? Some relationships will require tighter boundaries, while other boundaries can be loosely defined. It all starts with you and what you need to make you feel safe and what’s an acceptable way or behavior that you want someone to treat you.
I’ve done personal inner work to establish boundaries recently and I will say it allows you to feel free with the people you interact with while also serving ourselves and others in a healthy manner.
Hot-tempered people must pay the penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again.
Proverbs 19:19 NLT